Bad Movies...even by my standards

Come on now...did you all honestly think that I would rub in the fact that I was right about the Superbowl? I won't for two reasons. The first is because it wasn't just a victory for me but for sports fans in general. As I have said before, the Pats are everything that is wrong with professional sports and their defeat gives hope to sports fans around the world. The second reason is because my being right is a frequent occurance and I would have to quit my job in order to blog about all the times that I am right...(RK finish this sentence as you see fit). OK so maybe that is going a little overboard but I am entitled to a little fun right?

Actually, I have no desire to go into a recap of the amazing game that was the Superbowl, since it has been talked to death already. I will say that with the exception of the last quarter, the entire thing was fairly boring. Not even Tom Petty was a great as he could have been. The commercials were sorely disappointing. In fact, there was only one commercial worth tracking down on YouTube. But boy was it worth it. The Peyton Manning cameo at the end was a nice touch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0FM1ezT2YE&NR=1

So moving on. The past few days have been spent sleeping, daydreaming, and watching TV. The sleep has been nice, the daydreaming has been wonderful, and the TV has been terrible. My plan was to watch as many new movies as possible. By new I mean new to Millie because let's face it...it is probably unhealthy to continue to watch the same movies over and over again. So I fought the urge to watch the standby safe movies should as Braveheart, The Lord of Rings, and Dirty Dancing as well as stayed away from anything that had the slightest chance of being funny (intentionally or otherwise) and jumped into movie hell. So far, here are a few of the highs and lows. Well actually there were no real highs but oh well.

Down to You - When this movie first came out I had a date to go see it. Luck would have it that I never made it out of the bar to walk to the theater and missed it. I am glad because it would not have been worth whatever I would have paid to see it. It has Freddie Prinze Jr, Julia Stiles, Zak Orth and Selma Blair as porn stars, Ashton Kutcher, and brief cameos by "The Fonz". There was one funny part of the entire movie and that is when Freddie's character imagines that he is getting ripped by the guys on The Man Show. It is supposed to be your average love conquers all story but it sucked. The lowest point...when Freddie makes friends with a spider. Seriously...a spider named Owen.

The Colony - So this is a less creepy version of The Village from the 90s. It stars John Ritter and that is the only reason that I watched it. It has all the elements of a 90s thriller, most scary being the bad clothes. The plot is entirely predictable and anti-climatic. The worst part of it was that as I sat through the damn thing I kept thinking "What are they complaining about?" Maybe it is the republican in me but I didn't not see what the problem was. I mean, so you have to give up a few freedoms such as being able to paint your house blue in order to have your kids go to a great school and live in a community without any crime. Is that really a big sacrifice for safety and security? Whatever. Not worth watching.

The Business of Strangers - Also starring Julia Stiles which isn't surprising. So I just don't get this movie. I couldn't stop watching it because I really wanted to figure it out. By the end I still didn't get it and felt kind of dirty for having watched it. Did she have a crush on Stockard Channing's character? Where they both crazy or was Stockard just spending the day in looney land? Either way, there didn't seem to be a point to this movie. It seemed to be going for a shock factor but it wasn't really shocking. I think that the common feeling for me during this movie was "Huh??".

Disturbing Behavior - This is probably the most main stream movie that I have watched during my stay on the couch. It has a young Katie Holmes playing an outcast teen opposite James Marsden, who is clearly getting better with age. At least this one was somewhat entertaining. The plot was full of holes but whatever. It wasn't that bad. It really makes me sad because I think that Katie once had a lot of potential to be great. No matter what roles she takes now, she will never be seen as anything more than Tom's wife. But hey, if she is happy...

The Astronaut's Wife - This movie was a blantant rip off of Rosemary's Baby except instead of father being satan it was some alien. Charlize looked insanely beautiful as always but that is the best that can be said about her in this role. Johnny Depp...well it was not his best role either but he never looked better. Is it wrong of me that I once again did not see what the big deal was? She had an incredibly loving, devoted, and sexy husband with a beautiful home and good life. So the babies that you are carrying are half alien...it could be worse. At least they were half human. I don't know. I just didn't feel that terribly for her. There is a scene in which Johnny is giving her a bath and all I could think was that if any man ever did that for me I wouldn't care if he was half alien or half satan. It would be nice to be loved like that.

So in midst of such terrible movies...one might wonder how I kept from going crazy. Well, there was always TV shows and I have found that I am never more than a couple hours away from an episode of Scrubs, Law and Order, and/or that 70s Show. The other reason was that I have been blessed with a few phone calls and memories that made me smile. And not that average "hey this is cool smile" but the kind that you feel from your head to toes and everywhere in between. Oh and there was the pain meds, which made me feel pretty good no matter what crap I happened to be watching.

I am surprised to admit it but my mind is sick of the couch and ready to return to life. If only I could convince my body of the same.