Tuesday, October 30, 2007

This is Halloween...

This is Halloween...everyone hail to the Pumpkin King!

In honor of my favorite holiday and in effort to get back to the pop culture that I love so dearly...here is my list of the best Halloween movies.

DISCLAIMER...not the scariest movies...as it took me a week to be able to sleep with the light off after that blog. This is just a list of my favorite movies about or related to Halloween.

#5 - Jeepers Creepers - The rarely successful combination of fear and humor are what make this movie awesome. My favorite part of this movie is at the beginning where they are getting chased down the freeway by the monster as he rams their P.O.S car. I remember being terrified for them and laughing my ass off because I could imagine myself reacting exactly like the main characters did. Where did you get those eyes indeed?

#4 Salem's Lot (the original) - Vampires = Halloween. Stephen King = a week of sleeping with the light on. This movie still creeps me out. Its' classic moment...the dead brother scratching at the window begging to be let in. This scene has been redone to death but other classic films such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer the movie (insert sarcasm here) to the Simpsons. The original is Good stuff. The Remake...sucks ass.

# 3 Saw - Okay... so Halloween doesn't actually have anything to do with this movie except that ever since this movie came out at least three people think it is cool to dress up like this creepy puppet thing. This movie gets major fear points because it makes you think about what people are willing to do to stay alive. Sure we've all had the conversation about which of your friends you would eat first in order to stay alive while snowed in on a mountain range. None of us (at least none of us in my entourage) ever discussed cutting open someones stomach in order to retrieve a key that would free us from certain death. Oh...and the whole reminder that anyone has the potential to be a homicidal maniac...yeah that freaked me out. I must have looked over my shoulder for at least two weeks after this one.

#2 - Halloween (the original) - OK so this is an easy one...and a given. I think that it is combination of Laurie's innocence and Michael's pure evilness that make it a classic. Jamie Lee Curtis was endearing enough that you could root for her and the annoying naughty girls got whacked in classic blood and guts tradition. This is the movie that launched the 8 movies that followed. Many of its' sequels sucked...but hey...we obviously kept spending $$$ to see them or they wouldn't have kept making them. Oh...and it has THE scariest movie theme EVER. Seriously...a few years ago I had it on my phone as the ringtone and it lasted until I received my first call at night and that was the end of the that. Oh and for the record... Michael Myers would have kicked Jason and Freddie's ass...no contest.

Without Further Ado...

#1 - The Nightmare Before Christmas - Okay give me a break. This is no brainer too. This movie kicks ass!!! It is the best movie about Halloween...in fact it is one of the best movies ever. (My obsession with Tim Burton has nothing with this...although I doubt it would be as awesome if someone else tried to pull off this movie.) The soundtrack is awesome...the plot is great...and they re-released it in 3D. (Which also kicked ass BTW.) There are numerous great moments but the best part has to be when that little blond kid opens his present and pulls out the shrunken head. His little face drops as his eyes bulge out of his head. Even better...he still has this look on his face when Santa returns to save the day.

So get out there and have some fun this Halloween. Or stay home and watch one of the above movies. Oh...and remember to give out the good candy. None of that orange and black crap that nobody likes. (Why in the hell do they keep making that stuff? It tastes terrible and it has a shelf life of five minutes.)

At some point I should try to study for that damn midterm.

One More Thing...

WTF is wrong with the Rams???? We should have never let Kurt Warner go.

It is painful to walk around in Rams gear...and damn it...I have so much of it. I doubt even the Salvation Army folks would take it. (DISCLAIMER...my pants are rolled up in this picture because of the mud in the pumpkin patch and was not an attempt to bring back this awful 90's fashion trend.)

Oh well...I am thinking of jumping on the Colts' bandwagon because they are awesome...and because for some reason Peyton falls into the Unexplainable Crush Category.

Pull it together St. Louis or I am jumping ship.

Monday, October 29, 2007

A-Rod Sucks cont...

So...obviously I was pretty pissed off when I wrote my blog last night. Guess what...I'm still pissed so allow me to continue with my rant. Enjoy the highlight reel...it is amazing how many pictures come up when you google A-Rod sucks.

I strongly dislike Boston...but I agree with the many articles and baseball fans who feel that A-Rod did his best to steal the spotlight from the Red Sux. I am not happy that the Red Sux won the World Series...but I am not too proud to give credit where credit is due. Clearly A-Rod and I are not on the same page on this one. (Or ever for that matter.) He made his announcement to try to keep the focus on him instead of the fact that Boston had just swept the World Series. Again...I am NOT happy about that but it is still pretty amazing. (Though slightly anti-climatic since I don't think that anyone really thought that the Rockies were going to win.)

A friend emailed me after reading last night's post and asked why am I so pissed off at A-Rod. After all...I have never been pleased that he was in pinstripes to begin with. He did manage to have some great numbers while in the Bronx so I should be happy about that right? Not really. I think it boils down to the fact that he is an asshole but tries to act like he isn't. I mean...I would respect the guy if he came right out and said "I am a money hungry prick who is going to go to the team who will pay me the most money not to bring home the pennant." But he won't because he is a coward. He can't even speak for himself...he hides behind his cutthroat agent.

So again I say good riddance to the choker. He never looked good in pinstripes anyway. I swear to God...if the Yankees break their word and still go after him after all of this I will sell my soul and root for Boston.

So in closing...this is the last time that I am going to devote any blog space to A-Rod. I will not bash him again...no matter where he plays next season. I supported him while he was Yankee because he was a Yankee...I have no loyalty to him now. A-Rod is a selfish chicken shit...end of story.


I suppose it was inevitable.

While I am at it....

Good riddance to A-rod! Maybe you can fill the arrogant asshole vacancy in San Francisco you money hungry bitch. The Yankee in me hopes that you will sign with Boston since no team is ever going to win a world series with you on the roster since you can't play for shit when it counts.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Your First Hit Should Always Be Your Best

NOTE: As a form of respect to all of the people I know who are glued to TV watching their beloved Red Sux battle the underdog Rockies for the title...I have vowed not to bash their team for the duration of the series. So let's move on things that I like rather than focus on what I hate...(e-cough Manny Ramirez...). Hey...anything to avoid finishing my damn application paper.

So some movie had a line in it where the protagonist said "Your first hit should always be your best...guess what...your best sucks." I am not badass enough to ever really use this line so I have hijacked it for my own use...for music of course. I have always said that if a song has a great opening line...the rest of the song can suck and I will still spend my $0.99 on iTunes for it. The below list is NOT a list of the greatest opening lines in music ever...just some of my current favorites. Cut me some slack tonight as my brain is mush from trying to summarize terrorism in three pages.

#1 Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls - "I'd give up forever to touch you because I know that you feel me somehow." I am obviously a sucker for hot guys singing hot songs and this song has both. Iris would have been successful even without this line...but I am glad that they started with it. It let it be known that the rest of the song was going to be hot. I like that Johnny and guys cut right to the point with this song...no waiting to the last verse to reel you in. The rest of song kicks ass too...which is why has cemented its spot in pop culture as an awesomely overplayed song.

#2 Kodachrome by Paul Simon - "When I think back on the crap I learned in high school its a wonder I can think at all." I don't know if the legendary Paul Simon meant this way that I have taken it...but it is an accurate statement for two different reasons. The first is that while I was in high school I learned a lot of important crap like how to talk your way out of speeding tickets, how to explain missing curfew a least once a month, how to explain that it was a honest mistake and I really did confuse McDonald's with my geometry classroom, and my favorite lesson...that I didn't know that there was alcohol in that drink because I had never tasted alcohol before so how could I know? (which actually worked more than once). The second reason of it is that I killed a lot brain cells memorizing crap that I have never used therefore have since forgotten. (Such as about that French King Charlemagne and everything else I learned in four years of francais.) The useless information is gone and so are brain cells. I am fairly certain that good ole' Paul Simon was thinking more along the lines of the second perspective but let's face it...after the "education" I received in high school...it really is wonder that I can think at all.

#3 How Far We've Come by Matchbox 20 - "Waking up at the start of the end of the world but it's feeling just like every other before. Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if its gone." Okay it is two lines but it is my blog so get over it. I have never been a big fan of the Box boys so it really says something that they made the list. They are okay but all of their stuff sounds the same. It didn't help that their first song about pushing a girlfriend came out at a time where I wanted to run over every man who ever showed any signs of violence to a girl. Nevertheless... I have to admit that I really like their new song. When I first heard that line...I was hooked. I had to listen to the rest of the song. Believe it or not...the rest of lines are just as good as the first one. So BZ Rob Thomas for finally getting it right...as I too believe the world is burning to ground. (No pun intended towards anyone in San Diego...just poor timing I suppose.)

#4 I'm Still Here by Johnny Rzeznik - "I am question to the world, not an answer to be heard ." I don't actually believe that the world cares enough about me to solve that question...but I can relate to the feeling that you are that question. Does anyone really ever get anyone??? This is neither the time nor the blog to answer that question but I appreciate that a hottie like Johnny asks that same question. Whenever I feel like I am misunderstood...I crank up this song and realize that it is okay. On bad days I remind myself that "They can't break me as long as I know who I am." BZ to Johnny for writing another great song and for making it onto my countdown twice in one night. This is in spite of the fact that you have officially become a sell-out...thus dropping in the hot guy ranks. (WTF were you thinking with this"Next Great American Band" crap???) Smile and all will be forgiven Johnny!

And finally...I will announce the #5 spot by stealing another opening line. So this one is dedicated to R.K...."It is time for you to stop all of your sobbing!" I have caved but only because peer pressure is a bitch.

#5 Honey and the Moon by Joseph Arthur - "I don't know why I'm so afraid if you weren't real I would make you up." Okay so I swore that I wouldn't ever give it up the first line of this song but I am sick of R.K's bitching. I have referred to this song several times in my previous blogs. It is actually the most played song on my iPod (beating out all time favorite songs like Don't Stop Believin' and Livin' on a Prayer) because of this first line. I actually remember that the first time that I heard this song was while shopping and immediately pulled out my phone to record that line. Once I got home I googled the lyrics and the rest is history. This might be the hottest opening line ever in a song. Seriously...if you haven't listened to this song...you really need to.

So this blog was obviously a foolish attempt to kill some time. I don't want to write my paper, I am sick of Facebook, and there isn't shit on TV. As I said...this isn't a best ever list...just what popped in my mind tonight. I also would like it noted that this blog was noticeably DJ free. This is yet another good faith gesture to the Red Sux fans. (I still HATE Manny!)

I close with the below picture...I think that I might photoshop creepy Scott Stapp out...because then you have perfection. Jon Bon Jovi and Johnny Rzeznik...yummy.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Do You Like Scary Movies?

Absolutely. I love scary movies...I just hate that feeling you get after you have just watched a scary movie and every little sound scares the shit out of you. It is because I am in the state of mind that I am going to devote this entire blog to some of the scariest scenes in Millie's terrified mind. But first...how did I get here one might ask. Well...like a dumbass I went to go see 30 Days of Night by myself and now I am too scared to sleep.

Let me start by saying that 30 Days of Night was not a great movie. It wasn't bad but it wasn't great. I will be able to sleep tonight at some point...which means that it wasn't that scary. (Not like Hostel...which is the most recent movie to terrify me and therefore kept me up for about three days with the exception of the 15 minute naps I was lucky to catch at PT.) 30 Days was incredibly gory and mostly entertaining although the vampires and their high pitch screeching annoyed the hell out of me. The acting was mediocre and at no point did hottie Josh Hartnett go topless (so I added a pic below) but oh well. It made me jump several times, it made me hide under my coat once, made me want to throw up twice, and even managed to make me laugh at one point. My suggestion...wait until it is OnDemand.

So now that I am reasonably freaked out...allow me to recap other moments that scared the shit out of me...after all...isn't that what the Halloween season is all about?

I start with Michael Jackson's Thriller because it is my earliest memory. Notice I said earliest memory...as in the first memory EVER. Perhaps that is what started me on my journey to being a pop culture geek. (Digressing...) I don't remember much but I do remember sitting on a couch with my mom and sister watching this video and my dad getting pissed at my mom for letting me watch the damn thing. I still can't listen to that damn song in dark or alone at night.

I will move onto Pet Sematary. That movie still scares me and is the reason that I literally leap into bed EVERY night. Overall...it is not that scary of a movie. In fact...most of it is humorous. Church is an evil ass cat who I actually liked. Clean the guy up and Pascow would actually be a great ally to have. There were only two scary elements of that movie. The first was the creepy sister Zelda. She probably had less than 1 minute and still managed to scary the shit out of me. Most people hear the name Rachel and they think Friends. Not me...thanks to this damn movie I hear the name Rachel and I immediately remember creepy Zelda calling for her in that back bedroom. I can honestly say that I have never been friends with a Rachel and this might be why. Moving on...the scariest part of that movie is Gage version 2.0 He was adorable...even after he went evil! I think we all wanted to hug him as he walked off to die for a second time saying "No Fair." But I can't get over the scene where Judd kneels down to check under the bed and Gage's little hand reaches out and slices his Achilles heel with a scalpel. Hence my leaping into bed at night. I don't actually believe that Gage has found his way under my bed...but I also don't want to find out. So BZ to this movie for terrifying me to the point that years later I still think about it on a daily basis.

I will jump forward in time a bit...but be warned that we will back track at the end of the blog. I will move on to The Ring. This movie came out right after I graduated boot camp and I remember going to see it Cape May with good ole Mike S. We were just forming our intensely great though short-lived friendship and I think part of the reason that we bonded was because we were scared for days after this movie. This is the first movie that I can remember actually screaming in. Not gasping...not crying out...but an actual scream that lasted several seconds. When I think of this movie...I will always remember the end scene where that evil bitch is literally climbing out of the damn TV!!!! This is the moment were I started to scream. Maybe it was partly my fault...but Mike started to scream too as we clung to each other while I prayed that the bitch didn't end up climbing out of the movie screen. Damn it...I am scared now just thinking about it. And The Ring takes us to...

That's right...The Grudge. Obviously they are similar movies being that they both managed to scare me for days. This movie also made me scream out in the theater....on more than one occasion. Yet the reason that it is so significantly scary is the fact that it ruined my "safe place". Think about it...what did you do when you scared as a kid? If you were anything like me you hid under your blanket until an irritated parent arrived to find out what the figment of the imagination caused this particular meltdown. Obviously I don't hide under the blanket now nor do I cry for my parents anymore....but the point is that because of this damn movie I couldn't even if I wanted to!!!! When that crazy ghost chick started to showed up under the blanket of that soon to be dead girl I was screaming and shaking and probably lucky that I didn't break poor Eric's hand from squeezing it so tightly. Oh...and the fact that it spawned a series of prank calls with people making "The Grudge" noise. (Bastards...I need new friends.) So...BZ to The Grudge for ruining the safe place of my childhood.

I mention The Hills Have Eyes for two reasons. One because it was the first movie that was "too much" for me in the sense that I thought that parts of it crossed the moral line (whatever that is). I can't really explain it explain it...so I will just say that I could have lived my life without seeing certain parts of that movie. Reason Two...which greatly outweighs reason one is the fact that the movie takes place in the hills of New Mexico. I grew up in New Mexico and often imagined that creepy evil beings lived in those hills only to be laughed at. I remember at a bonfire I freaked out that I saw some creepy man wandering around when I left the group to pee behind a tree. Granted I had consumed an alarmingly large quantity of alcohol that night but I'm still not convinced that I didn't really see someone. Nevertheless...at some point I will look up whoever wrote that movie and it is someone I went to high school with I am going to sue for my share of the profits.

And now we backtrack in time to discuss the scariest movie of all times in the mind of Millie...IT. God damn it...I hate this damn movie!!!! It still terrifies me and I am getting the chills just thinking about it. I actually had to turn on extra lights in the house after I looked for pictures of Pennywise to use for this post. How fucked up this movie???? (The book is scary too....but something about Tim Curry as Pennywise made it even more haunting.) Thank God that the movie spent its budget on its large cast instead of special effects because the cheesy effects are the only thing that get me through the damn movie. See...it seems that I was cursed to be deathly afraid of two things....Spiders and Clowns. So imagine the fear I felt when the evil murderous clown turned into a spider at the end of the movie. DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!!!! It seemed as if Stephen King hacked into my brain and picked the two things that I am most terrified of and morphed them together. I even started to hate balloons after seeing this movie because I expect Pennywise to be on the other end. I hate the woods because I imagine him waiting for me (that or the Hills Clan.). I had a hard time watching the first season of Smallville because I've always thought of her as Bev Marsh. So BZ to IT for being the scariest damn movie all of times....I will never be able to put into words how much I hate IT....yet I still attempt to watch it when I come across it on TV...and always regret it.

The good news....it is late and I am tired. The bad news is that I am even more freaked out from re-visiting this terrifying moments. I should have known better but it was fun. Its been awhile since I slept with the lights on...please cross your fingers that I don't lose power thanks to the damn wind.

Monday, October 8, 2007

What Else Can I Say?


Tomorrow is going to suck...what with all the damn Red Sux Nation People running around. I am not crushed by the outcome but I am pretty pissed off.

There are but a few positives in this otherwise painful series.

Johnny Damon finally played like a Yankee.

The Yankees never gave up...of course they never really showed up either.

I got to see Jon Bon Jovi looking super hot (though super pissed off) in the stands during game.

A-Rod wasn't terrible but was no where near the caliber of player he should have been.

Derek never really found that October magic that he is known for.

The Yankee pitching was luke warm at best.

The Yankees were not beaten...they lost. Plain and simple. Nothing else can be said when a team loses in the playoffs to a team that they have owned all season. It sucks.

It sucks for every Yankee fan who never gave up. It sucks for the Yankees themselves because they have all that talent but nothing to show for it. Sure they have one hell of comeback story, but that doesn't count for much in eyes of the boss.

Sorry Joe...but George might be right about this one.

Yet....there is hope and it comes in a bottle with a Captain on it. No not Morgan...Jeter of course! Order your bottle today!

Friday, October 5, 2007

What Was I Thinking????

Seriously...going back to school sucks! Okay so I am only taking one class and it is one that I find interesting but it still sucks. I hate sitting around with people who have nothing intelligent to say but keep talking anyway. (If you want to rant and rave but nonsense...start a blog!) Anyway...how does the differ from the average day you might ask???? Simply because I am paying for the experience. (Well not me technically but if I don't pass the class I will have to pay for it.) This is my humble opinion after only one week. I actually like the teacher and I like the material. I guess I just wish that there were more students.

I am already anticipating future debates (battles even) with my classmates and instructor. I think that I am too opinionated and conservative compared to the others. I'm pretty sure that the instructor is a hippie (he used to be a public defender.) I was SHOCKED when we got the results back of some survey that we took and someone actually said that they strongly believed that we are too harsh on drug users/dealers. One of the Coast Guard's missions is drug interdiction for God's sake. At least wait until you get out to against one of the core mission of the service. Oh well. At least if I start some heated discussions things will stay interesting.

I had several topics that I wanted to blog about tonight however I just spent an hour and half answering my damn discussion topics for class and therefore I am tired of e-bitching. So I will catch up the blog over the weekend. I will close with one last rant....

WTF happened to the Yankees tonight???????????

How in the hell could they lose their first playoff game 12-3??? Not only that...but they got their asses handed to them by a team that they have owned all season!!!! Seriously...WTF? I am going to get so much shit tomorrow. Oh well...its not over yet. Nevertheless...Joe should be hanging his head after tonight's game.

Let us console ourselves with a nice picture of Derek Jeter and call it a night.