Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What Have You Done For Me Lately?

After all of the time and money that I have given to iTunes it is about time that they gave something back to me. And what a gift they gave me...I couldn't be more pleased.

How freaking cool is it that the Season 3 Premiere is available on iTunes before the season starts?!?!?!? Now I am even more excited than I was before!

I am soooooo addicted to The Tudors. If King Henry was anything like the man playing him on this show it is no wonder that the women sacrificed all for him. Crown or no crown...the man is hot.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Its The Final Countdown

T-Minus 39 hours until Single Game Yankee Tickets go on sale.

Being that I struck out trying to buy packages to go see my Yankees this is my second to last chance to go see them in the new stadium.

In the event that this doesn't work out...I plan on spending my free time tomorrow studing Dr. Rivera's Do-It Yourself guide to Surgery. I can live with just one kidney right?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

In Joba I Trust

Opening Day of baseball cannot come soon enough. Luckily for me I have the YES network and I am able to watch most of the Yankee Pre-Season game to tide me over until the real thing starts.

To no one's surprise...the Yankees looked outstanding today. But I gotta ask...How awesome did Joba look today? Mark my words...he is shaping up to be one of the greatest pitchers in the league.

Joba pitched 3 1/2 innings today and looked amazing. He threw 61 pitches and of those 61 pitches 41 where strikes.

I will never forget the time I stood on the wall in front of the Yankee bull pen and watched Joba pitched. I will never forget the sound that the ball made on impact with the catchers glove. The speed in which Joba launches that ball is truly amazing. The precision in which he throws it is extraordinary.

Bottom line...Joba is The Man.

I am so excited for baseball season that I can hardly stand it!!!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Its Gonna Be Alright

Back to Back iPod Shuffles? Have I gone crazy? Only slightly but one has nothing to do with the other. The fact is that I have duty tonight and shuffles are easily done once I get burnt out on work stuff. So let’s jump into it.

Do You Believe In Us by Jon Secada – What ever happened to Jon Secada? Poor guy apparently had terrible timing…as he seemed to fade away before the Latin craze took over thanks to Selena, Ricky, and Enrique. Oh well. Jon had a few decent hits. This is probably the least popular of his hits and truthfully not one of my favorites. I am not entirely sure why it is on my iPod. Jon sounds moderately sexy as he serenades his way through this catchy tune that begs the subject to have faith and give their love one more chance. Apparently she lacks his optimism about the matter. In spite of the fact that it is not one of my favorite songs…I can still honestly say that I would fall for his crooning and take another chance. God I am sucker. Best Line: “I know that we belong…just give us another chance.”

You’re Not Sorry by Taylor Swift – OK so I am pretty far behind the crowd but I am finally onboard the Taylor Swift bandwagon. Courtesy of the fine folks at CSI I suspect that many more non-country fans will be climbing onboard as well. So the reason that this song is awesome is because it is just dead on. At some point, she is going to have enough. The apologies and excuses are going to fall on deaf ears because eventually she is going to see that if he really cared he wouldn’t put her through everything that he does. Good for her. Best Line: “I would have loved you all my life if you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold.”

Cecilia by Simon & Garfunkel – How awesome is this song? This song is the perfect friend building song in the sense that no one can resist singing it when it plays. For the 3 minutes that it is blasting from the speakers (I’m sure that I don’t have to explain that this is another one of those song that instinctively makes you crank up the volume) everyone is singing and everyone is friends. Together you smile and tap your feet, clap your hands and so on and all is well for those three minutes. If only Paul and Art could make peace with one another enough to reunite…world peace could feasibly follow if they put out another song of this caliber. Best Line: “I fall on the floor and I’m laughing.”
Song Sung Blue by Neil Diamond – I have been getting shit daily at work ever since I admitted that I am a huge Neil Diamond fan. It is worth it all because of songs like this one. Has another other solo artist given us so many great songs that are such a joy to sing? I think not. This is one of those that is pretty easy to sing and makes you sway a little bit as you do. And when you really think about it…the song is pretty damn accurate. We all do get the blues every now and then and when you sing about them you start to feel better. So haters be damned…I am gonna sing ‘em out again and I really don’t care how hard you laugh at me. Best Line: “Funny thing but you can sing it with a cry in your voice and before you know it start feeling good…you simply got no choice.”
If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher – First let me say that I smile every time that I hear this song because I am reminded that Robin was never an asshole without trying to make up for it using my kryptonite…i,e music. This particular memory that I am referring to is one that will always be one that I keep close and will forever make me smile. Moving on…since most of you weren’t there for the Robin moment, odds are that you think of Jack on Will & Grace and his silly way of singing this song. Either way…this song should make you smile. It is a pretty good tune that is always a hit at the karaoke bar. It is also a great song for singing in the shower. It is impossible to sing this song quietly so unless you can actually sing…it is best to do it in front a bunch of drunk people who also cannot sing or with the water running during your morning shampoo. I am fan of either method. Best Line: “If I could reach the stars…I’d give them all to you.”

Banana Boat Song by Harry Belafonte – Just hearing this song excites me more than words can possibly say! Only 28 more days until the home opener at the new Yankee Stadium! I don’t care how many stadiums still this song for their own use…it belongs to the Yankees. For those of you non-baseball fans (which really is a crime against nature)…here is another fun association for you to reflect on with this song. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Best Line: “Day-O….Day-O”

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Everything Will Change But Love Remains The Same

OK so it has ended up being a Wednesday Night Shuffle...let's get started.

Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park - What a thought provoking song...I tend to under appreciate Linkin Park and there is no good reason for it. This song is a perfect example of a rocking band whose music has outstanding lyrics. This is another punky song that perfectly captures the anger and frustration that comes from being fed up. I think it is a little too dark for me which is why I don't listen to often but I'm telling you...hear in the right mood and it rings loud and clear and therefore kicks ass. It is a downworthy song for any rock lover out there because let's face it...we all have a few habits that are worth breaking. Best Line: "I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean."

Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell - OK so I have never really liked this song to begin with which makes me wonder what it is even doing on my iPod. However now that Geico has this song on all of their damn commercials I really hate it. Geico could offer to insure me for free and I still wouldn't pick them because I hate their commercials so damn much. I hear the opening line of this song and get pissed off. No best line...
Heartbreak Hotel by Whitney Houston - Sadly this is probably the last good tune that Whitney recorded. It came out when I was working at the Coronado Mall and my boss was a pleasantly flamboyant man named Anthony who was all bent out of shape by his boyfriend cheating on him so I heard this song over and over again until I really started to hate it. I am over the madness now and hope that Anthony is too...wherever he is these days. This is another Gal Power song that empowers the singer when singing it. I love the whole "I Ain't Gonna Take It No More" attitude that Whitney rocks in this song. More importantly I love that she isn't afraid nor apologetic for what I have learned to be the chronic curse of being a woman in love...simply wanting time with the object of one's affection. Best Line: "I thought that you were someone who would do me right until you played with my emotions and you made me cry."

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson - Oh how love to listen to Jack Johnson. Even in a song such as this when he is clearly calling someone out on their bullshit he manages to sound charming. Now that is talent. It is almost worse than getting raged on...kind of like the whole "I'm not angry...just disappointed" guilt trip. You gotta love it. So here we have Jack Johnson crooning away explaining that he simply can't always be waiting around for someone who probably doesn't deserve it anyway. At the end of the 2nd verse he sings "Please ignore these next few lines cuz they're directed at you." I absolutely love that line because it is so polite and yet leaves no doubt for the person being serenaded. Jack is freakin' awesome! Best Line: "Lord knows that I'm not you and if I was I wouldn't be so cruel cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do."

Everybody Hates Ned Flanders by Homer Simpson - Yes I have a collection of the best songs from everyone's favorite animated family. This is one of my favorites in that collection. OK so it is mean to poor Ned Flanders but it is pretty damn catchy. By the end of the song Ned is even singing the song. The Simpsons really have enriched pop culture in more ways than I will probably ever be able to blog about. Best Line: "Everybody in the USA hates their stupid neighbor, he's Flanders and he's really really lame."

Love Remains The Same by Gavin Rossdale - Though often overlooked by me...the simple fact is that Gavin Rossdale is without a doubt one of the sexiest men on the planet...add to that the fact that he can sing and I realize that he is worthy of being ranked close behind to Jon Bon Jovi. I didn't like this song when I first heard it but then suddenly after hearing it at the right time it has become one of my favorites. It is all about timing. This song could be horribly depressing and yet it isn't. It talks about everything being about to change and the need to stop pretending...but somehow still manages to be hopeful for the future. I am often told that things always work out and this song is kind of the champion of that statement. It doesn't promise that the change isn't going to hurt...but the sting is lessened by the knowledge that the love won't disappear even after the journey down separate roads begins. This is a seriously outstanding song! Best Line: "Drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made...Everything will change but love remains the same."

Monday, March 16, 2009

What's Your Fantasy?

No Monday Night Shuffle Tonight...too busy drafting my fantasy baseball team.

So far I have:
C - Joe Mauer
1st - Mark Teixera
2nd - Jose Lopez
SS - Derek Jeter
3rd - ARod (Damn it all!)

So check back tomorrow for the shuffle.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

He Forced Himself To Go On...Forget Krypton and Keep Going

Much to my own surprise I found myself watching a documentary on the History Channel last night and actually was entertained by it. It was about aliens, ancient astronauts, international travelers...whatever you want to call them. It got me thinking about the question...Are we alone in the universe? It seems rather unlikely but that is not the point of today's post. To be perfectly honest...I don't really care. But it did lead me to tonight's subject...and that is my list of the Top 10 Aliens according to Millie.

So let's get started.

#10: E.T. - Might as well kick off the list with the alien with the biggest heart? This is the only extraterrestrial with his own catch phrase that is still used today. You gotta love E.T. I am well aware that this little guy is probably the most famous and beloved of all aliens so to rank him the Top 10 spot might seem a little strange. I'm not taking anything away from the adorable little international traveler. He is cool and he touched the hearts of everyone in the 80s. I think that his image has been tainted by the remake and the damn radios.

#9: Kang & Kodos from The Simpsons - How these two aliens managed to be come regulars on The Simpsons is beyond me but let's face it...The annual Treehouse of Horror isn't complete until you see them. From their impersonation of Bill Clinton and Al Gore to the time that Kang was revealed to Maggie's true daddy we have had a lot of good laughs with the one-eyed freaks from the planet that cannot be spoken by a human tongue. Much like E.T...there is no fear factor or badass factor attached to them which doesn't give them a lot of alien cred...hence their ranking on the list.

#8: Tripods from War of the Worlds (2007) - I approach every "thriller" movie the same...I try to imagine how I would react if I was in the lead role. When I did this for this movie...I realized that I would be terrified. This should not be taken to mean that I am afraid that Tripods are going to emerge from the ground. The point is that if they did...I am pretty sure that I wouldn't handle it very well. So that is why I had added the Tripods to my list. If I were to ever have an encounter with them....I would totally flip out. There is no escaping their beams...and if they don't kill you on the spot...you get trapped inside of them where you get to endure the screams of others until your own demise.

#7: Frank the Pug from Men In Black - OK so Frank is a zero in the fear factor but he gets mad points for being the cutest alien life form ever to grace the big screen. Put him in the black suit and he goes from awesome dog to being pimptastic. You gotta love Frank. Best of all...he was a nice alien. He wasn't out trying to destroy the world and had no plans for any kind of domination...he just wanted to hang out with the cool guys. Who can't relate to Frank the Pug?

#6: The Arachnids from Starship Troopers - Words cannot describe how much I loved and hated this movie. For me I would rather encounter the extraterrestrial from Alien than these foreign freaks. Giant spider-like aliens have got to be the very worst of what the universe has to offer. I think that if these freaks landed on earth I would probably jump on the first boat and live out the rest of my days on the water...mainly because I am pretty sure that these assholes were afraid of the water. Truthfully...I get chills just thinking about them....which is why I love and hate this movie so much.

#5: Xenu - I have chosen the South Park depiction of Xenu because it is surprisingly hard to find pictures of the evil lord who apparently is the cause of everything wrong in planet. I don't know too much about Xenu except that he ranks high in the coolness factor...but only because his evil ways gave us Scientology which has given the world an endless source of entertainment.

#4: The Aliens from Signs - I distinctly remember that I was not the only one screaming in the theater when we first saw the alien sneak out of the trees at the birthday in the movie. These were some freaky foreign travelers...mainly because they looked just like what we all think aliens should be. They weren't dressed up into something fancy or super scary...they were simple and that made them scary. They looked, moved, and sounded just like the aliens in our dreams and we loved them for it.

#3: Yoda from Star Wars - This might be a stretch since in the world of Star Wars it is hard to say who is an alien and who isn't. I will argue that he has to be an alien since he is the only one of his kind and no one is exactly sure where he came from. Add those things to his overall mad skills and reason would lead you to the same conclusion. Yoda has the fear factor going for him because small though he is...he is not one to piss off. Yet Yoda ranks so well on my list for his coolness. He is smart, amusing, and awesome at everything. Who wouldn't want a Yoda of their own? I would gladly share a planet with this little green guy.

#2 The Martians from Mars Attacks - Sure they were as evil as can be but I still love these little martians. In fact...it was a little tough not to give them the #1 spot. Just hearing them talk makes me laugh every single time. They were smart...evil little geniuses with far superior technology to ours....which lets face it...is kind of a given for aliens. It would be easy to fear them if they weren't so damn funny.

And the #1 Alien of All Times is...

#1 Kal-el from Krypton - Now this is my kind of alien. Smart, sexy and here to save the world. Always there to save the damsel in distress...Kal-el is more of a gentlemen than damn near every native human being. His almost limitless power makes him a force to be reckoned with but his charm makes him endearing. He is the clear cut winner because unless any of the above are packing kryptonite in their pocket...he would easily destroy them with little effort. And let's not forget that he would be doing it in tights which is a serious bonus. But seriously...the Crash Test Dummies said it best "And sometimes I despair the world will never see another man like him." Without a doubt...Kal-el is the greatest alien ever.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Doctor Doctor Give Me The News...

In my relatively short life time I have seen more than my fair share of doctors...and I would say that I have seen some of the best and some of the worst. I think that every person goes into the doctor's office expecting the best...just like the ones that we see on TV. Often we are disappointed. So let's spend tonight looking at some of the best TV Docs.

#5 Dr. Hibbert from The Simpsons: Ever noticed how extremely well-versed in almost every possible illness Dr. Hibbert is for a family doctor? The man knows everything. I liked Dr. Hibbert because he is almost always in a good mood and cracks jokes...even though it is occasionally at highly inappropriate times. (Like when he laughed about still being able to bill the Simpson's because Bart as in a coma.) However...he is most known for and most beloved for his trademark chuckle...which is bound to take the sting out of any diagnosis.

#4 Dr. Frasier Crane from Frasier: OK so he is a psychiatrist but he still a doctor...kind of. If I was ever going to visit a shrink...I would want it to be someone like Dr. Frasier. His calm voice and British accent would make me feel comfortable enough to talk about even my deepest, darkest secrets. He was always funny to watch...what with his weekly daily struggles that made him seem somewhat human. His voice was so charming that it was easy to overlook that he tended to be an arrogant asshole.

#3 Dr. Doug Ross from ER: Is there a woman alive who didn't want to schedule an appointment with Dr. Ross? I think not. Hands down...he is the best looking doctor to very grace the small screen. The only problem with having a doctor like Dr. Ross would be that he is too good looking to feel comfortable around. Think of about it...those hospital gowns do not flatter anyone's figure. Not to mention that odds are that you are less than 100% when you see him so that would make it even harder to impress a good looking man like that. Finally, it would be impossible for him to get an accurate diagnosis because a man like that would create all kinds of physical reactions that would complicate the evaluation. Just being in a room with this man would make the heart race and body heat up before he even asked to hear one breath.

#2 Dr. John "JD" Dorian from Scrubs: If I could hand a pick a doctor...it would be JD. Not for anything serious of course...but if the odds were good that I was going to make it...than sign me up for JD. All of you Scrubs fans out there can understand what I am talking about. In every episode he labors away to cure his patient and he does it in the most charming way possible. On more than one occasion we have watched JD allow himself to care so much about a patient that his failure to save him devastates him...and every time it makes me want to give him a hug. So yeah...as long as I am doing terminal...send me to Sacred Heart and page Dr. Dorian.

This should come as no surprise.....

#1 Dr. Gregory House from House: OK so he tends to be an insensitive asshole but he is a brilliant doctor...and he is incredibly sexy in the process. Dr. House is without a doubt the hands down winner for the best doctor on TV. He solves just about every case that comes his way and he does it in such an asshole way that I cannot help but find him irresistible. If only I had a Dr. House of my own...I'd bet that I would be feeling much better by now.

So here is to all the good doctors in TV land! If only my life was like Pleasantville and I could zap myself into any of the above's waiting room.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

If It Were You In That Sandwich You Wouldn't Be Laughing At All

I used to think that there was no way that any commercial could possibly be more annoying than those damn FreeCreditReport.com ones...and now I know that I am wrong.

Words cannot express how much I hate this damn commercial. It is annoying and creepy. Perhaps that is what the idiots behind it where going for....but I doubt it. It is more than likely another sign of our recession...it has gotten so bad that this the best that McD's could come up with. Regardless...the people behind this commercial should be fired.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Somewhere Back There In The Dust…That Same Small Town In Each Us

Age of Innocence by Don Henley – This is always a tough song for me to listen to. It is bittersweet for me because it makes me think of Bobby. I think that is about the time in life where things are still simple and innocent. When there was no knowledge of the drama in the outside world. Being that Bobby and I became best friends when we were six…this would be a good explanation of the foundation of our friendship. As we grew older and started losing our innocence and naivety due to the racism he faced and the family drama that I faced, we were always able to turn to each other and feel safe from it. I think that is what I miss the most about my dear friend. He was able to calm me down no matter what and things felt simpler when I was with him. Perhaps my dependence on him when I was younger is what makes it so tough for me to control my mind when it races now. I don’t know but I digress…Todd asked me the other night how often I still think of Bobby…and the answer is several times a day. What I wouldn’t give for more moment with my friend. This song begs for just another moment of innocence before it is lost completely. Who wouldn’t want that? Best Line: “Let me take a long last look before we say goodbye.”

SoBelieve by Theron – If you watched the Superbowl ads this year than you know this song. This is the song that was featured in the Sobe commercial. Remember how pimped out the lizards were with their grills? How awesome was that? This song is your typical grooving, dancing around kind of song which makes it better than most but it is the dancing lizards that take it to that other level. While I am not in a dancing kind of mood tonight this song is almost enough to pull me out of it…almost. Best Line: “If you SoBelieve…anything can happen.”

Get In Line by Barenaked Ladies – And here is song that reminds me of my other lifelong best friend. This is the song for any person who is doomed to be the constant runner-up in life…just like Todd and I. I remember driving down Tropicana Ave with Todd when this song came out and the two of us laughing so hard that we were in tears because it just fit. Todd said that it has only become more appropriate as he has gotten older. He put it best when he said that being an adult sucks. So this is a good song for me because it always makes me smile as I reflect on the man who swears that he is always second best…though never with me. Best Line: “I wish that everyone I knew hadn’t sold out to the man”.

True to Me by Metro Station – Have I mentioned that I love Metro Station? Have I also mentioned that I am beyond excited that they are opening for Fall Out Boy? How freakin’ amazing is that show going to be? I am so looking forward to resorting back to my old ways of going to the casino and partying it up before going to a great show. But I digress…this song is probably my 3rd favorite song by the band. It is another song that makes me want to get out of my bad mood and start dancing around. Being that I still have a few more hours of work to do…this is probably a good thing. It is a simple song that captures the wonder of love because regardless of what anyone will tell you…if you really love someone you often wonder that that person is doing with you? Funny useless fact about this song…it makes me think of Joba Chamberlain every time I hear it because it was the song that I was listening to at the moment when I got his autograph at Yankee Stadium. Anyway…Best Line: “They don’t see what she’s doing with me.”

If I Were A Boy by Beyonce – I am not really a Beyonce fan but I have to give her credit for this song. In addition to being amazing vocally…it is so well-written that I venture so far to say that is perfect. When I first heard it I was shocked because it was so right and so real that it actually made me feel somewhat relieved. I think that everyone mistreated woman feels the same way. It is also a great warning to all the men out there who take the lady in their life for granted…at some point she is going to realize that she has had enough and walk the fuck away…and she will be stronger for it. But then again…Beyonce also gets it right when she says “You’re just a boy…you don’t understand.” This song has to be in the Top 5 of the best songs released last year. It rivals “I Will Survive” for the best girl powers anthem. Best Line: “I think that I could understand how it feels to love a girl and swear I’d be a better man.”

20 Dollar Nose Bleed by Fall Out Boy – HOORAY for Fall Out Boy! Seriously…I LOVE this band. This is my favorite song off of the new album just because it is so damn catchy. It is impossible for me not to sing along to this song. I really hope that they perform it when I go see them. It is also another great example of how Fall Out Boy has the most cleverly titled songs in music today. Best Line: “It feels like 14 karats but no clarity.”

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Like Frankie Said...Doc Does It His Way

Have you ever thought of how cool it would be have "EST" to your claim? Think about it...if you have an "EST" attached to you it means that you are the absolute in that category. Nicest, prettiest, meanest...etc. Now think of how cool it would be to be the "EST" in two categories. I myself have am not an "EST" kind of person...let alone a double "EST"-er but tonight's post is not about me. Tonight's post is about the only double-"EST"-er that I know...and that is Doc.

Doc has managed to be a double-"EST"-er by being the World's Great"EST" HS1 as well as by being the mean"EST" HS1 in the world.

Doc is the HS1 who works at my unit and is pretty much employed soley by me and my health issues. I have often said that if I was in need of immediate medical assistance I would hope to be lucky enough to have Doc be the first responder (again)...as he truly is the great"EST" HS that I have met. I will follow that statement with the hope that he will leave me alone after the emergency has passed because he is also the mean"EST" HS that I have met.

The best example that I have of this is when I first started on my seemingly never ending battle with cysts. I don't really remember passing out in the head or him helping out there...but I certainly remember him dragging my ass down the hall to office. I remember this because he very bluntly snapped at me "DON'T CRY" as he half carried me down the hall. He then told my boss to call the ambulance which made him snap at me again..."I said don't cry." It worked...because in spite of being in the worst pain ever and my fear that something was really wrong...I did not cry.

Another good example of his atrocious bedside manner is the time that I almost passed out on my first back from my surgery. Doc was escorting me to his office telling me that he sending me home and I asked him if we could talk about it and responded with "You can say whatever the fuck you want but you're still going home."

In addition to his repeated checks on my physical well being he also takes the time to inquire about my mental health....as he is convinced that I am crazy based on my love for Bon Jovi and the Yankees. Daily he takes the time to tell me that my health issues are a result of my shitty taste in men and music. How devoted on an HS is that...that he finds the time in his busy schedule to point out that he is convinced that Bon Jovi is gay?

And clearly he subscribes to the theory that laughter is the best medicine because he makes me laugh at least three times per conversation. So you know what...let's take it one step further and say that he is actually a triple-"EST"er because he is also the funni"EST" HS that I have met.

Truthfully, he is a phenomenal HS who doesn't take shit from anyone. He has one of those commanding presences that makes you trust him except for when he is telling me lies about Jon Bon Jovi and Peyton Manning. It is truly going to suck when he transfers this summer. And while I worry about him and his bedside manner once he goes to CG Headquarters...I truly hope that he never changes.

So here's to the only triple-"EST"er that I know. Doc is one in a million...and for that I am grateful.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009


OK so I know that I said that I would stop talking about A-Rod but damn it he just keeps pissing me off and I need some place to vent. What better place than my blog where I can bitch and moan as much as I want. So here I go....
So the latest thing A-Rod Asshole Moment to piss me off is his comment today about Jose Reyes. For those of you who don't know, A-Rod told reporters "I wish he was leading off on our team or playing on our team." He says he meant no offense to the two players to whom it was a slap in the face to but I call bullshit. I think that he knew exactly what he was saying and to whom.

What an ungrateful asshole! Derek Jeter and Johnny Damon have been nothing but supportive of A-Rod and here he is...wishing that some overrated NY Met would come take the place of not but two of the greatest teammates the guy could ask for. As if Reyes could ever replace either of those two amazing men...let alone both of them. Fucking A-Rod.

(For those of you who don't have any idea what I am talking about...Reyes is a lead off hitter as well as a shortstop.)

Johnny handled it remarkably well considering that he is the lead off hitter who would have to be replaced. He said that A-Rod probably made the comment as a result of all of the stress that he is under (entirely his fault BTW) as well as that he is sure that A-Rod meant no harm. He finished by saying that he would just have to prove to A-Rod what he was capable of. Apparently he was smiling when he said it but that makes no difference to me. Johnny has nothing to prove to anyone...
As for Derek...he refused to comment on the statement. His silence speaks volumes.

Fucking A-Rod.

I have said it before and will say it again...A-Rod needs to shut and swing.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I Know That I've Got Issues But You're Pretty Messed Up Too

Welcome to a special Tuesday Night Edition of iPod Shuffle. Let's begin shall we?

Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill - Lame as it sounds this song still gets me moving whenever I hear it even though its like 15 years old. Has there ever been a more clever and unexpected use of the bagpipes in a mainstream song? You know that your song is the shit when it is featured in a Superbowl ad as it was this year. So yeah I would say that it has withstood the test of time. As I found out last week it is still played at during warm-ups as high school basketball games which surely says something...though I am not entirely sure what. But most significantly, this song will forever have a place in pop culture history for its use in the Simpson's episode in which they are accompanied by a symphony orchestra. Best Line: "I think I'm going crazy....".

Let's Twist Again by Chubby Checker - While there is a part of me that loves this song...let's start with the reason that I hate it. It is clearly a exploitation of the original and it never should have happened. Sequels are good when it comes to novels and to movies (sometimes) but not in music. You don't see Bon Jovi putting out trash like "Still Livin' On A Prayer" or Metallica putting out "Enter Sandman 2.0" because songs should never be continued. That being said...it is hard not to dance to this song so all is forgiven. Especially when one reminisces about a certain 9 year old friend twisting away at the elementary school talent show...so much that he twisted away with the 1st place in dance trophy. I can't laugh too much...as my 1st place for girls song trophy was equally embarrassing. Good times. Best Line: "Do you remember when things were really hopping?"

1, 2, 3, 4, by Plain White Ts - And here is yet another example of the fact that I am complete sucker for sappy love songs. I'm going to catch a lot of shit for admitting this but when I first listened to this whole song it was during a commercial on ABC Family and it made me cry. I think it is because it is such a simply sweet song of love. The lyrics actually seem to be a tad bit on the juvenile side except for that when coupled with the simply sweet melody of the song it makes for the perfect love song. So yeah...I fully recognize that it is a lame song and still love it. It is a new guilty pleasure of mine. Best Line: "And I'm so glad I found you...I love being around you".

Te Abrazare by Erre XI - Gotta love free downloads on Tuesday...as it introduces me to songs that I would never find on my own...this song being one of them. I am pretty sure that I understand this song but even if I don't it doesn't matter because it is awesome anyway. It sounds good and the beat is good enough to make me dance when I hear it. Best Line (I think): "Hay no te vallas, amor tu sabes bien que, si te quedas conmigo, baby esta noche".

What It Takes by Aerosmith - This might be my favorite Aerosmith song...pretty sure that it is. I think that it is because it is one of those songs that I can really get into. It makes me sing along, bob the head, and you know the rest. Most importantly it is a song that I can identify with...as I am sure is the case for most people. We've all had that one person that we can't let go and this song makes us feel less shitty about it. But to take one step further...this is a song that if it ever gets dedicated to you makes you feel like a complete ass...NOW THAT IS POWER. But I digress....it is enough to say that it is a great tune. Best Line: "Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch, tell me that my lovin didn't mean that much, tell me that you ain't dying when you're cryin for me."

My Life Would Suck Without You By Kelly Clarkson - I didn't want to like this song...I really didn't but here I am...absolutely loving it. I can't help it. I think that I like it because it throws away all sense of class and is brutally honest. There is not glamour to it all. The title says it all...my life would suck without you. Sure it would be easy to dress that line up into something romantic but the message would be the same so what's the point? The honesty in the line is what makes it great and better than the romantic bullshit. Not to say that I don't love the romantic bullshit every now and then but sometimes one just wants the truth...however jaded or unrefined it might be. Kudos to Kelly for rocking this song. I think that it is fabulous from start to finish. Best Line: "Being with you is so dysfunctional, I really shouldn't miss you but I can't let you go".

Monday, March 2, 2009

Happy Birthday Dear Jon..Happy Birthday To You!

For those of you non-Jon Bon Jovi fans...allow me to inform you that it is his 47th birthday. Isn't that amazing? The man doesn't look a day over 30. There are some who might say that the man must have sold his soul to be so talented, so successful and so sexy after all of these years. As I sit here on my couch...watching the second wave of snow start to fall...I say to you that I don't care as I am grateful for Jon and all of his greatness regardless of the source. So in honor of his birthday, we are going to postpone the Monday iPod Shuffle and focus on Bon Jovi and his musical greatness.

What better way to do this than to pick and discuss my favorite songs off of each of his albums?

Album: Runaway released in 1982...Best Song "Runaway" - This is a no brainer since this is the song that started it all. There isn't a Bon Jovi fan alive whose heart doesn't start beating faster as soon as you hear the opening chords. There is little wonder as to why Bon Jovi is so successful whenever I listen to this song. It set the standard for all future Bon Jovi songs by being totally rocking as well as providing realistic lyrics. What teenage girl didn't have her own Runaway moment? Best Line: "She don't really mind...it's only love she hoped to find."

Album: 7800 Fahrenheit released in 1985...Best Song "In and Out of Love" - This is the opening track on Bon Jovi's sophomoric album. In all honesty, the album is pretty weak...the worst that the band ever put out. That being said...it's still better than a lot of the shit that was put out during the same time frame. In and Out of Love is your typical rocking Bon Jovi tune. What I like about this song is its honest lyrics. The song is about a powerful and dangerous roller coaster kind of love. Up and down, good and bad, and completely irresistible...both the song and the love it sings about. Best Line: " When we're together, in and out of love, its too much forever."

Album: Slippery When Wet released in 1986...Best Song "Livin' On A Prayer" - First let me say that picking this song is a no brainer and yet I feel guilty for neglecting some of the other awesome tunes on this album. Even if I wasn't such a major Bon Jovi fan I would say that this is one of the greatest albums of all time. Is it any wonder that it produced the greatest song EVER? So I apologize to You Give Love A Bad Name, Wanted Dead or Alive, Never Say Goodbye, and I'd Die For You (which is my second choice for best song off of this album) but without a doubt Livin' On A Prayer is the winner. It is a song that rocks, a song the inspires, a song that makes everyone want to sing along. It is a song that cannot be described in words as its greatest can only truly appreciated when you listening to it. Best Line: "We've got hold on to what we've got, it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not, we've got each other and that's a lot for love." This might be the greatest line in music history.

Album: New Jersey released in 1988...Best Song "Born To Be My Baby" - This is another album that provides so many great songs that it is hard to pick one. I had to give it some thought and I know that I made the right decision. I based this on the fact that as soon as I hear Jon shout "2,3,4" my heart starts beating faster. It is the type of song that makes you reach to turn up the volume every time you hear it. It is a song that has such amazing lyrics that you cannot help but sing along. It is also the song that I learned the hard way not to use as a ring tone on my cell phone. It is also one of my favorite Bon Jovi songs to sing at the karaoke bar. Hell, it is one my favorite songs period. Best Line: "We've got something to believe in even if we don't know where we stand."

Album: Keep The Faith released in 1992...Best Song "In These Arms" - So this song is one of my all time favorite rock power ballads. It is one of those amazing songs that makes a girls heart melt as her head rocks. Out of all of the Bon Jovi songs, this song is probably my favorite vocally. Jon really out does himself in this one. I will never forget the time I first heard this song in concert...it gave me chills. The song oozes with emotion and overall just completely kicks ass. Even the incredibly cheesy lines kick ass because Jon sings them so well. It is no wonder that Bon Jovi fans welcomed the band back with such open arms after their hiatus with a song like this. Best Line: "I would do anything, I'd beg...I'd steal...I'd die...to have you in these arms tonight."

Album: Crossroads released in 1994...Best Song "Always" - While this is a greatest hits album, there is one new song that is worth being named the best song of the album in its own right. Always came out and it cemented the fact that Bon Jovi had evolved and yet still embraced its roots. This power ballad won the hearts of veteran fans and helped the band gain a ton of new one. It is one of the greatest songs that begs for forgiveness and it would be hard to say no to. I would forgive Jon for any offense if he sang this song to me. Best Line: "It's been raining since you left me now I'm drowning in the flood, you see I've always been a fighter but without you I give up."

Album: These Days released in 1995...Best Song "This Ain't A Love Song" - This song is the only reason that this album is any good. While the previous section was about a great rock power ballad...this is about one of the greatest ballad EVER. Jon described this song as the ultimate love song and I couldn't agree more. If you really listen to the song you know that more romantic and passionate words have never been sung so well before. Best Line: "If the love that I got for you is gone, if the river I cried ain't that long, then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song."

Album: Crush released in 2000...Best Song "Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen from Mars" - Most people are going to disagree with me on my pick since this is the album that has Its My Life which is one of most rocking Bon Jovi songs and it also has Thank You For Loving Me which is the best love song by Bon Jovi but that's okay. The reason that I love Captain Crash so much because it "feels like home to me". I mean that in the sense because the people that the song is about seem wonderfully wacky and I'd like to think of myself as the same. There is something to be said about finding someone who loves your wacky ways and and allows you to completely be yourself around them. No pretenses, no worries, just two people who love it each other for who the other is and how the other makes them feel. This song is a celebration of this and that is why it is my pick for the best song on the album. Best Line: "They're drunk on love as you can get, getting high on lust and cigarettes, living life with no regrets...at least they're gonna try to fly."

Album: Bounce released in 2002...Best Song "Misunderstood" - I think that I like this song simply because we've all there. We've sat back after the fact and realized that if only we had said things differently, there would be a different outcome. When you realize that you have been misunderstood and we not given the chance to explain. It sucks especially when you play back the conversation and think of all of the different ways that you could have responded or importantly when you realize that you can't take back something that you said. This song is all out those moments and it is a comfort to know that Jon has been there and so I am in good company. Best Line: "I should have shut my mouth, things headed south as the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb, if this old heart could talk, it'd say you're the one...I'm wasting time when I think about it."

Album: 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can't Be Wrong released in 2004...Best Song "The Radio Saved My Life Tonight" - I think that you have to be a music obsessed freak like me to really appreciate this song. It is the perfect song to describe the effect that music can have on me. The song talks about being in a low mood and how the right song can totally change your mood. The right song at the right can make the world feel right again. I have often said that Jon's belief if the magic of music is one of the things that makes him so special to me because I too have that belief. Some people laugh at me for it but the truth is that I feel bad for those people who don't. This song is all about the magic of music and that is why it is one of the best songs by the band. Best Line: "Radio saved my life tonight, an old song that that DJ played made me feel alright".

Album: Have A Nice released in 2005...Best Song "Dirty Little Secret" - Most American fans don't know this song since it was only released overseas. WTF Bon Jovi? Regardless, it is my favorite track off of this album because it is a very sexy song. It is a simple as that. Best Line "We made a promise and we'll keep it our dirty little secret."

Album: Lost Highway released in 2007...Best Song "(You Want To) Make A Memory" - OK so I have written about this song several times before and I am sure that I will probably write about it again. I am also sure that I write differently each time that I write about it...but one thing remains the same...and that is that it is the sexiest song ever sung by Bon Jovi. Truthfully I am in love with this song. It is one of those songs that makes me stop whatever I am doing in order to truly listen to the lyrics. The lyrics hit home with me because it makes me feel better about my belief that love doesn't have to last forever if it is wonderful while it lasts. It reminds me to be grateful for moments in time that make up the memories. This song is almost too good to listen to...almost. Best Line: "Baby just, breathe there’s no where else tonight we should be...you wanna make a memory?"

Well folks...we have just traveled through the entire run of the Bon Jovi and covered some amazing tunes. Now after all of this can you honestly say that you are not grateful for the birth of this musical genius?

Happy Birthday Jon!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

You Gotta Fight....

There's no place like home....but when you are a nomad like me it can be hard to know where exactly home is. Is the place where I get my mail? Is it the house where I grew up? Perhaps it is the town where I grew up in as I still feel comfortable there...and yet still feel the same desire to get the hell out of there shortly after arriving. Who really knows.

I have spent the past few days thinking about the journey to New Mexico and the memories are good and bad. But mostly it has made me think of fights. I am not talking about little arguments (though there were several of those) but I am talking about all out ass kicking brawls where the only real winners are those watching them. (Is it any wonder considering that I had a front row seat to two such brawls in less than a week?) For privacy purposes... I will not recall the details of those fights and instead recall a few of my favorite fights in the world of pop culture.

#5 Daniel vs Johnny in The Karate Kid:

OK so only a pop geek like me would love this fight scene but I honestly do. There is something about the way that Daniel limps his way out to the mat that really makes me want Daniel to kick Johnny's ass in spite of the fact that if it were real life and not a movie...poor Daniel wouldn't stand a chance. It is not a fight that withstands the test of time...watching it now it is blatantly obvious that it is poorly choreographed but it is great and timeless for two reasons. The first is because it gave me one of my favorite pop culture lines to use...the infamous "Sweep The Leg" line that I still use to this day (though no one has actually done it for me :( but that is not the point) and more importantly...it gave the world the "Crane Kick". Is there anyone who hasn't practiced their own crane kick since this movie came out? I just hope that no one was dumb enough to actually try it in a fight because they would have no doubt provoked quite the ass beating.

#4 Martin Blanke vs Creepy Bad Guy in Grosse Point Blank:

I really really love this scene. I don't know if John Cusack has ever been sexier than he was in this movie...and in this fight. I had never thought of John as a bas ass until this movie. The hits look real as do the results of the hits. And how pimptastic is John as he flicks the lid off of that pen before jamming it into the bad guy's throat?

#3 Paul Sheldon vs. Annie Wilkes in Misery:

This is probably the first and only time I really wanted a guy to kick the shit out of a woman. This fight scene kicks ass because it is not just a fight...it is a fight for a man's life. Adrenaline starts pumping just watching the movie. The best part is that you get your money's worth. By all standards...Annie should have been out from the start after Paul brings his typewriter down on her head. And yet that is where the fight gets good. Annie catches on fire, both parties choke the hell out of one another which ends with the best eye poking scene in movie history. Annie shots Paul who keeps fighting the good fight in spite of his two broken legs. The absolute best part is when Paul finally gets the upper hand on Annie and begins to shove the remains of her beloved Misery novel in her mouth giving one of the best lines of the entire movie: "You want it? Eat it! Eat til you choke you sick twisted Fuck!" Annie gets in one last good kick but it is not enough. Paul uses his broken leg to trip Annie who cracks her head on the typewriter. Funny how the fight starts with the typewriter and ends with it.

#2 Daniel vs Mark in Bridget Jones 1:

(OK so I know that this clip has the scenes from 1 & 2...couldn't find a Youtube clip without them both. We're only talking about the first now.) This used to be my favorite fight ever! I love the way that Colin Firth punches Hugh Grant who arrogantly stands back up and gives Firth a chance to punch him in the face again. It just gets better from there. What with "Christ not again" comment to the eager announcement to the restaurant that there is fight (even though it takes a couple of seconds for anyone to care) the scene goes for good to great. Truthfully this scene works because it highlights the fact that while we are all great fighters in our heads...that is probably not the case in reality. This is one of the least manly fights in all of movies and I love it for that. I absolutely love the way that they keep apologizing to the people who are caught in the midst of their battle. However the absolute best part is when they take a break from their battle to sing happy birthday to a stranger at the restaurant. The British are always so polite. Seriously though...this one of the funniest and best fights in a movie ever...and can only be topped by the outrageous folks at South Park.

The best fight in pop culture history is....

#1 Cartman vs Wendy in Breast Cancer Show Ever:

Ok so I have already blogged about this so there isn't too much to say about it now except that it is FUCKING AWESOME! Anyone that has ever watched South Park knows that Cartman deserves an ass beating and it is utterly fantastic that it came from Wendy. I never get tired of watching it...hence why it is on my iPod.

Sweep the leg folks...Sweep the leg.