Monday, February 16, 2009

I Do Think You Fit This Shoe

Alright folks…let’s start with a continuation of my A-Rod rant…because clearly I didn’t do enough of it last week since I’m still mad. The simple fact is that I just keep getting more and more pissed off by the situation. I don’t like his “poor me” bullshit about “the weight of the world” being on his shoulders while in Texas and that being the reason for his “mistake”. I mean…I love baseball more than practically anything else in the world but let’s call it what it is…and that is a game. His “weight of the world” comment just shows what a damn drama queen and narcissistic asshole he is. I am so looking forward to the season starting but the thought of seeing him play in the new stadium aggravates me more than I can ever say. I don’t care if he has the greatest season of all times this year…I will still think that he is asshole. And don’t even get me starting on the whole A-Rod/Roberts controversy…because it is so damn ludicrous that it isn’t worth any more than this one line. Phil Moyer asked the perfect question regarding A-Rod and that is “What does he have to play for now?” His numbers are tainted, he has brought shame to himself, the sport, and more importantly to the Yankees who have to stand behind him even though he doesn’t deserve it. Again I say to you… he is a tool.

Moving on…God help me for asking this again…but What’s Worse Than Having Gum On Your Shoes?

So today is a duty day for me and I really should be getting stuff off of my desk for my upcoming leave but I’m just not feeling it. I think that I have done so much in the past couple of weeks that I am suffering from a moderate case of “burnt out” syndrome. I say moderate because I really don’t want to do anything but there is hope that I will get stuff done anyway. My blogging is just a temporary break from the stack of stuff that will be done before I leave tomorrow afternoon.

And you know what today is….so let’s shuffle.

Rock is Dead by Marilyn Manson – I usually get really weird looks when M. M. comes on my iPod, I guess because I don’t fit the stereotype for what a M. M. listener should look like. Whatever. This is actually one of my favorite songs by the King of Goth. Say what you will about him but this is actually pretty awesome song. It has a fantastic, foot-tapping, head rocking beat and lyrically it is pretty impressive. I mean, sure it is a pretty pessimistic view of society but it really isn’t that wrong. But truthfully, most days I listen to it for the beat because it is that good. Best Line: “Build us a new God and sell us his address.”

Love Is A Battlefield by Pat Benatar – Here is yet another song that should be banned from every karaoke bar on the planet. It has been terribly abused. It is understandable, as it is a pretty damn awesome song but no song is worth seeing many a drunk Pat-wannabe stumble her way through this song…air fist pumping and all. Oddly enough…this is another song that makes me laugh every time I hear it…thanks to South Park. How can you hear this and not picture the drunk Mr. Mackey stumbling his way to his house…adding his trademark “Ummm-kay?” after every line? I love that episode. So I guess what I am saying is that it would be okay for someone to sing this song at a karaoke bar only if they channel Mr. Mackey. Best Line: “We are young…ummm-kay?! Hearted to hearted we stand…ummm-kay?!”

Take My Hand by Simple Plan – I love Simple Plan and this is probably my favorite song by the band. It is impossible not to rock out when you hear this song. It is a tough song to sing along to for some reason…which means that I will only attempt it alone in my car. I will however start tapping anything close whenever I am listening to this song…my pen on the desk, my foot to ground, my fingers on the keyboard…you get the idea. It is a pretty hot song too which makes it even more awesome. It channels the whole “Bet on me like I bet on you, this is our chance, Mad Love” feeling which makes it pretty much irresistible. Best Line: “Take my hand tonight and let’s not think about tomorrow.”

Breakfast by Newsboys – And here is yet another example of why I am probably going to hell. For those of you who don’t know that this song is a Christian Pop song…don’t feel bad. I didn’t either another I heard someone singing it and I thought it was a joke. The worst part is that upon finding out that it was not a joke, I remember laughing even harder…thus yet another reason why I will probably be spending the afterlife surrounded by flames. Even though I never listened to this song with Dino it reminds me of many of the conversations about God and religion that we shared when he told me that he is pretty sure that God has a sense of humor. I am betting on it…as I am pretty sure that he probably laughed when he heard this song too. This song is on the iPod for comedic reasons only. I use the next line loosely…Best Line: “When the toast is burned and all the milk has turned and Captain Crunch is waving farewell, when the big one finds you let this song remind you that they don’t serve breakfast in hell.” Seriously…?

About A Girl by Nirvana – First allow me to congratulate myself on absolutely nailing this song on Guitar Hero World Tour. And by nailed I mean that I didn’t miss a note. So on the off chance that you are reading this Joba Chamberlain….consider yourself challenged. Moving on…so could Nirvana have selected a better song to kick off their Unplugged Album with? I think not. I cannot imagine listening to it without hearing this song as the intro. It sets the bar high and gets you going so you can overlook the crappy songs that they put on there like “Jesus Don’t Want Me For Sunbeam”. Best Line: “I’ll take advantage while you hang me out to dry.”

Well that’s it folks…as I still have a ton of LES(s) to review and a stack of papers to shred that is close to my waist in height. Gotta love the life of a Yeoman…oh wait…I don’t.

Monday, February 9, 2009

You're The Center of Adrenaline...

Holy sucked. It wasn't exceptionally tough...nor was it exceptionally busy. I even somehow managed to put a small dent in the pile of work that has taken over my cubicle over the past week. That alone should have allowed me to walk out of the office with a feeling of victory. Yet I walked out slowly, defeated and annoyed. I need cheering up.

So let's shuffle...

Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order - I LOVE this song. It is another one of those songs that I forget how much I love until I hear the intro and before I know it...the volume is up and I am grooving along to one of the best dance floor tunes. Many a DJ has spun this song and many a couple have found themselves overcome with passion that comes from dancing to this song. Worthy of space on any iPod. Oh and it has a fantastic opening line which gives it bonus points in my eyes. There really isn't anything else to say about this song. Best Line: "Every time I think of you, I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue."

Life in Mono by Mono - This song came out like 10 years ago and I still can't decide if it is incredibly romantic or incredibly depressing. I suppose that is what makes it so good. I remember that Robin hated it from the first time that he heard it because he said that the soft, almost seductive voice of Emma Bunton freaked him out. Truthfully, this song always makes me think of the Ethan Hawke, shouting in the rain at Gwyneth Paltrow in the 1998 version of Great Expectations. At least he was shouting at her to this song in the movie trailer. Perhaps that is why I am torn about this song. It was incredibly romantic and incredibly sad to see him standing in the rain at her balcony, shouting " Everything I do, I do it for you! Anything that might be special in me, is you!" And yet anything and everything was not enough. Poor Ethan...left alone....probably ended up catching nothing more than a cold. But I digress...Best Line: "I can't seem to recall when you came along."

If You Leave Me No by Chicago - Before you make fun of me for having this song on my iPod...hear me out. Let me start by saying that of all of the shitty songs performed by Chicago, I admit that this one is particularly bad. I have this song on my iPod for one reason...and it is because it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh because it reminds of Butters South Park episode when he is trying to find his way back to South Park after his mom tried to drown him in the car. So I hear this song and I think of poor little Butters singing "Woo-ohhh-wooo baby please don't go." So was worth the $0.99 just to laugh. So let's use that line as the best line because there really isn't much to choose from.

The Best Thing by Savage Garden - What ever happened to Savage Garden? I loved Savage Garden...and not just because of their name tribute to one of the greatest stories of all times. I loved their slow sappy stuff...and especially loved their peppy sappy stuff. This is one of their best peppy sappy songs. It is impossible not to dance to it. I miss Savage Garden. Best Line: "This intoxication thrills me...I only pray it doesn't kill me."

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I HATE A-ROD Version...umm...Oh I've lost count!

For all of the shit that I have talked about A-Rod in the past...there was always one thing that I firmly believed and adamantly denied on his behalf...and that was the fact that he had never used steroids. Don't I feel like an ass now? Fucking A-Rod.

Now I am pretty sure that I saw something about this scandal on the news last night at dinner...I didn't think anything of it because my attention was not on baseball. So truthfully the anger didn't hit me unitl today when I finally looked at it the story. Fucking A-Rod. I guess this whole thing gives the nickname A-Fraud a whole new meaning.

It is no coincidence that he popped positive the same year that he was the named the American League MVP. Given the chance I was go into his house and steal that award because he doesn't deserve it.

I don't care that it was years ago.

I don't care that he did it at a time when "everyone else was doing it".

I don't care that it wasn't illegal then. (All the more reason for him to be a man and own up to it!)

I don't care that there is no evidence that he has done anything since then.

The simple fact is that he has hid this "minor" fact from fans for years while dozens of his fellow players fell from grace during the steroid scandal. He sat by smugly while others fell and never man-ed up and said "Hey...I've been there. I made a mistake too." Hell if he would have done that...I totally would have stood by him. My love for Giambi and Pettitte was as strong as ever in spite of their use of the juice.

But no...A-Rod never opened his mouth. More significantly...he is still keeping his damn mouth shut. What a coward.

Yes I am pissed...because I always swore that he was clean. So help me...I will never say anything nice about the fraud ever again. I don't care if he is a Yankee...he is a fucking tool....and I hate him.

In spite of the drama surrounding the is not all bad news. So let's end on a good note...and that is that Joba was throwing off the mound in Florida....and throwing well. Take that all you "Joba belongs in the bullpen" people. "He'll be the love in your eyes" indeed. (Cheers to the 1st person to explain that line."

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Can You Blame Him??

"You know, identical twins are never really identical. There is always one that is prettier, and the other one does all the work. "

Hell hath no fury like a scorned lover...and there isn't a fan in Yankee Universe who know just how scorned Joe Torre felt. OK so it is old news but I have to throw my two cents in for the few people who haven't joined me in wonderful world of Facebook (which once again...I am on several times a time). I don't really care about most of the bullshit that Joe spun in his latest betrayal of the Yanks...but I can't help but talk about the "Single White Female" like obsession that A-Rod supposedly had for Derek Jeter. True or not...this is not the question. In fact there is only one question and that is....

Can you blame him?

A-Rod and Derek started their careers at practically the same time...playing the same position, both young, handsome and the world of baseball was theirs for the taking. Everyone compared the two rising stars...hell I seem to remember that they were both featured in People Magazine's 50 Most Eligible Bachelor issue in 2000. And they were best friends.

In spite of all of the similarities...A-Rod could have and should have been the clear winner. He had the obvious advantage. A-Rod was the rising star on a team that would have sold their soul to sell his merchandise....while Derek was a merely a single sparkle in the greatest collection of diamonds in sports. The Yankee teams prior to this decade had made themselves known for having a collection of high caliber players...but no single star. The cards had been dealt and A-Rod had the winning hand.

And yet he lost. He has since become one of the most hated players in sports..hated by even his own fans...and no matter how many records he breaks, no matter how much money he makes, no matter who he dates...he will never rise above the star that is Derek Jeter. EVERYONE loves Derek. Do a google search of A-Rod and you will get more Anti-A-Rod sites than you will sites for him. More do a google search of Derek Jeter and the negative thing you will find about him is that he is a gay with A-Rod...which is still a stab at A-Rod more than Derek.

Derek might not have the sheer talent, killer smile, outrageous bank account or sexy accent that A-Rod has but he is most beloved man in baseball. And that must baffle the shit out of poor Alex.

But the truth is that as much as he wanted to...Alex couldn't Derek for his success...he became consumed by the need to understand it. In his quest to understand how he held all of the winning cards and still lost...Alex became consumed with the man who beat him. It isn't a gay thing...or a scary is a sad thing.

When you think of it like that...I ask you again...can you blame him?

I am loyal fan to Derek...and always will be. I am forever disappointed in A-Rod the Yankee. And yet I find myself pitying A-Rod the man. His evil ex-wife should have never steered him towards New York. Alex never would have become the legend that Derek is regardless of where he was at...but going to New York sealed his fate and forever cast him as the bastard child in the Yankee family. Since day one he has been surrounded by people who will forever think of him a impostor...a pretender and challenger to throne of their beloved Jeter.

Of course the man would lash out by being a boisterous asshole. Of course he would call attention to his records. He was (and still is) a desperate man who was grabbing at the only straws within his reach...and all his grabbing just made his house fall even faster.

Think of this and ask yourself...can you blame him?

And now I say to you...look at Derek...

See him in his glory and ask yourself...could you blame anyone for becoming so obsessed with him? Hell...I would take him and keep him as my own if I could. I suspect that for me an obsession with Derek would be far less painful me than it is for offer him the chance to change places with me....

So if you're reading this A-Rod...look me up on Facebook.