So four days after it appeared in my mailbox, I am finally done with this week's double issue of People Magazine. (Having a funeral and family in town can really set you back on pop culture studies...let alone starting that damn paper I need to write for class). Now back in my earlier days, I used to love the Sexiest Man Alive issue however it impresses me less every year. Not ripping on Matt Damon...but I really think that this one is a stretch. Sure he was nice to watch in the Bourne Series but I can't imagine that he is the type of guy that you would rattle a girl so much that she would spend all day hoping she would get to hear his voice.. Again...not ripping on Matt or any of the other guys in the magazine but I just don't care.
So rather piggyback off of what the fine people at People Magazine wrote about guys that everyone already knows are good looking...I am going to piggy back off a different article. One that is very near and dear to me...Sexy Songs from the past 20 years...at least according to People Magazine. Rather than discuss all twenty songs...I will only mention the ones that I actually have any sort of opinion about, which shockingly is not that many.
1987-1989: Don't care.
1990: Wicked Game by Chris Isaak - I think that this was an obvious pick for the sexiest song of 1990...since in my opinoin that only other song released that year that comes close is Nothing Compares 2 U. I have never really studied the lyrics of this song since it doesn't matter Chris Isaak is singing about because it just sounds hot. I knew the chorus of course but I have never looked at all the lines (even though there is only like ten that just keep getting repeated). This article inspired me to take a closer look and all I can say is WOW!!! Even more surprising than that the fact that this song slipped under my radar is the fact that it is not the opening line that haunts me. It is the second line. Nevertheless...it is a great pick.
1991-1992: Don't care
1993 - Can't Help Falling in Love by UB40: All I can say is...YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! First of all...this is a cover so it should be ineligble based on that factor alone. Second of all, nothing about UB40 is sexy. Finally...the song was used as the love theme for a movie about a stalker. NOTHING is sexy about a stalker unless it is Jon Bon Jovi doing the stalking. Speaking of DA MAN...this brings me to the real injustice of this pick. 1993 is the year that Bed of Roses came out. Bed of Roses is one of the sexiest ballads ever written. End of story.
1994- 1997: Don't care
1998 - I Don't Want to Miss A Thing by Aerosmith: I agree that it is a sexy song, and looking back at the other songs released during this year...I would have to say that it is a toss up between this song and Crash into Me by The Dave Matthews Band. More importantly, I feel compelled to say that 1998 was a pretty shitty year for music...what with the releases of classics such Barbie Girl, MMMBop, Wannabe, and Brimful of Asha.
1999 - Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls: One might think that I would be sick of blogging about this song...but you would be wrong. I never get sick of this song. It is the sexiest song on the People list...quite possible the sexiest song ever. Every time I hear it (or write about it) I fall in love with it all over again. I have mentioned hot lines in previous blogs but the nice thing about this song is that all of the lines are hot so I can mention another one without repeating myself. "All I can taste is this moment and all I can breathe is your life, cause sooner or later it's over and I don't want to miss you tonight." (This is the only line I will mention in tonight's blog.)
2000 - Don't care
2001 - Hero by Enrique Iglesias: Clearly this is a sexy song...but it is also very sweet. It is not overtantly sexy, which is nice. It is also very catchy in the sense that it has also been stuck in my head for the past couple of weeks for some reason. I think that the reason that I like this song so much is because it seems to understand that sometimes the damsel in distress just needs a hero.
2002 - Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer: The title alone should tell you that this is a sexy song. I don't think that it is sexier than Where Are You Going which also came out in 2002 (a week before I left for boot camp if I remember correctly). It is about equally as sexy as Here is Gone which is also a 2002 release. However it is no where near as sexy as The Honey & the Moon, which pretty much went unnoticed during 2002. (It wasn't until it was on the American Wedding soundtrack in 2003 that anyone paid any attention to it.) I am not surprised that my beloved song (#1 played song on the Millie iPod if anyone is keeping score) didn't make the list. It is a sexy song yet a sad song. I also kind of like that short of the people who read my blog...most people have never heard of it so it is sort of a secret between my blogging buddies and I.
2003 - 2004: Don't care
2005 -You're Beautiful by James Blunt: Okay when this song first came out, I was in total awe. I seem to remember that the first time that I hear it left me speechless. (Not an easy feat by any means.) There is no doubt in my mind that it was the sexiest song of 2005. There is also no doubt that it was the most overplayed song of 2005 and the opening line makes me ram the car in front of me. I love this song...I just can't bear to hear it.
2006 - Sexyback by Justin Timberlake: This has to be a joke. Just because a song has the word Sexy in it does not make it a sexy song. Furthermore...if you have to tell people that you are "bringing sexy back" you are probably not achieving the intended goal. (See Simpsons episode 3F21 if my point is unclear to you. The last scene nails my point. Although the debate is about being cool verses being sexy, the same rules apply.) In my humble opinion...the sexiest song of 2006 was Be Without You by Mary J Blige.