Thursday, January 24, 2008

Eli....Use The Force

So allow me to be blunt...short of the Eagles...any football team playing against the New England Patriots would be cast in the role of the Good Guys. I could very easily write this about the Peyton and the Colts (though it wouldn't be in the Superbowl) or Brett and the Packers, hell even Romo and the Cowboys. Unless you have also given into the Dark Side...you will look good compared to the Patriots. Keep that mind as you read on.

So here is the deal with the Giants...and why they deserve to win the Superbowl:

- They are not lead by a Sith Lord.
- Unlike said Sith Lord, Giants Head Coach Coughlin was not caught cheating by taping an opponents signals. What makes this worse by the way...is the fact that it was done against a former ally. WTF Bill?
- New York has had no joy sports wise in far too many years.
- Michael Strahan deserves to go out on a high note.
- The Giants Quarterback seems to have a shred of decency...Tom...you can take that as you wish.

So let's talk about Eli...one more time.

If Belichick is the Emperor and Brady is Anakin/Vader...that would make Eli the Luke of this series. (For the record...Peyton is Yoda....as when he is on his game...he is unstoppable but when he isn't, he lets less than worthy foes escape his grips... I.E. the Chargers.) Anyway...I compare Eli to Luke for a couple of reasons.
-The first is that fact that he is the same mix of arrogance and instability that Luke was in the beginning. Both men seem to go from bad ass to crybaby in .002 seconds when they don't get their way. Much like when Luke was crybaby over his ship crashing in Dagabah, Eli often seems to lose control when things are not going his way. Well...he used to...as of late he seems to have gotten his head together....much like Luke by Return of the Jedi.

-I compare him to Luke because both seem to have impossibly big shoes to fill. Hello...how much have Luke panicked when he realized that his Father was Vader. Not saying that Archie Manning is similar to Vader...since he seems to be a decent guy. I'm just saying that both paternal figures must have a cast one hell of shadow over their budding offspring. Oh...and Eli also has to contend with the whole Peyton thing. Let's face it...Yoda would have whooped Luke's ass any day of the week...as I suspect that bigger and better Peyton would do to Eli. Of course since Peyton and Colt's choked in the playoffs....we'll never know.


-Finally...much like Luke and his buddies...Eli and the Giants are our last hope of stopping the evil empire. Think about it...if the Patriots manage to conclude their perfect season with a Superbowl win...they will forever be THE powerhouse in football that will never die. Twenty years from now...we will still be doomed to talk and be in awe of the bloody Patriots. Belichick will be even more feared...and Brady will become even more of an arrogant jerk. There will be no saving Tom once he is truly gone over to the Dark Side. The glory and power that will come from leading his team to 19-0 will ruin any hope of Tom being saved. But if Eli and the Giants pull together and stop the evil empire...there is hope. Sure the Pats had a perfect regular season...but that won't matter if they don't win the Superbowl. If the Pats lose the Superbowl it will prove that while the power of the Dark Side is strong...in the end good will always prevail. And honestly folks...isn't that what we all want to believe anyway?

So there it is...the Giants must win the Superbowl. As I said last night...it is more than just football.

6 comments:

The Kiskadian said...

you have developed an unhealthy obession with the mannings. jeter and jovi i understand even though they are gay (together) but this makes no sense. peyton and eli are ugly as shit and probaby gay together too.

The Kiskadian said...

you should post one of the leia pictures of you.

Todd said...

Why did you change your profile picture? I liked the Daria comparsion since you seem to ooze sarcasim these days. More importantly, what did you change it to?

(I'm going to keep posting this until you reply.)

Todd said...

I don't think that any of your men are actually gay except for Jeter. Eli and Peyton hit the lottery and have hot women in their lives. Shows what most women are actually looking for in a man.

While I don't share The Kiskadian's dream of man on man action, I too think that you are too obsessed with the Mannings.

Just like your boy Eli, I think that you are going to be crushed after the Superbowl. Come to the Dark Side my dear friend. There is always room for one more.

The Kiskadian said...

i don't want them to be gay. it just worked out that way.

i am just trying to prove to milville most of her favorite men are gay.

DrFine said...

Star Wars and Football? It is almost more than I can take.