Mommie Dearest

Happy Mother's Day Folks. Being a mom is a funny thing. No amount of preparation can prepare you for it. No amount of sleep can keep you ahead of it. And yet it is without a doubt the greatest adventure a woman could ever embark on.

So as tribute to all the Mom's of the World...here is my list of the Top Ten Pop Culture Moms.

# 10 - Endora from Bewitched: Sure she was terrible to Darrin but it was understandable. Think about it, your daughter is an all powerful witch and she marries a mortal? It would be like marrying a minor league bat boy when Derek Jeter is trying to court you. Yet for all of the abuse that she gave Darrin...she never used her magic to do anything too terrible to the man because she loved her daughter. She just did enough to keep Darrin in line. If you were a mom with that ability wouldn't you do it too? I would.

# 9 - Jill Taylor from Home Improvement: Jill deserves to be on this count as does any mother of three boys whose father's regularly blows himself up. Jill had a remarkable sense of humor considering how much shit Tim put her through. I also like that how well she played the nurturing mom in house with four males walking around grunting to show their "manhood". However I must point out that the house was always spotless which leads me to believe that they had a maid that we never saw or that Jill was popping Brad's Ritalin.

# 8 - Dorothy Boyd from Jerry Maguire: Now here is a real mom. Within her first five minutes of screen time in the movie she discusses her grown-up woes with and the proceeds to "misplace" her five year old son. Yet in spite of these things...you can tell that she really loves her boy. Her major momma moment comes when she tells her love Jerry that she has to leave because he can't afford for her to stay. It takes a lot to walk away from love and yet she was ready to do it to provide for her son.

# 7 - Marge Simpson from The Simpsons: Good old Marge. She might not be raising the picture perfect family but she is raising them nonetheless. For some reason today I am reminded of the time that her family had been brainwashed by The Leader. Marge fought off crazy bubbles, landmines, alligators and employed religion and flat out deception to save her family. Sure she isn't perfect but she is one hell of a mother. You gotta love Marge.

# 6 - Christine Collins from Changeling: Holy smokes...now here is a devoted mother. Christine was institutionalized as a result of her motherly instinct. You have to respect a mother who would be willing to take on an entire city police department for her kid. As I pointed out to someone this week...A Mother Knows.

# 5 - Kitty Foreman from That 70s Show: Who wouldn't want a mother like Kitty? She cooks, she cleans, and defends her children to everyone...including her husband. Kitty opened her home to all of the neighborhood kids and become surrogate mother to just about every one of them at some point throughout the show. Quick to offer advice and a hug...Kitty was THE MOM of Point Pleasant.

# 4 - Mrs. Gump from Forrest Gump: Now here is another mother who was willing to go the extra mile in order to provide for her son. Seriously... I think what sticks with me the most about Mrs. Gump was not sexual degradation that she endured for him...but the love she expressed for him. She loved her son because of and in spite of everything that made him Forrest. She was always seen beaming with pride which is pretty damn cool.

# 3 - Sarah Conner from Terminator 2: And here we have another mother who endured a mental hospital as a result of motherly instinct. What makes Sarah better than Christine is that Sarah didn't just get mad...she got violent. I bet that Christine would have gotten her kid back sooner if she would have rolled up with a shotgun. Sarah was willing to anyone and anything that threatened her son and she looked amazing doing. Probably not the most endearing mother to make my list but definitely the one you want if shit is going down.

# 2 - M'Lynn Eatentor from Steel Magnolias: So here is the deal with M'Lynn....she was not a picture perfect mother. She fought like hell with her daughter Shelby at points during the movie and that is what makes her a great mom. She was not afraid to tell off her daughter that she was making a bad decision because she loved her. We don't see enough of that in Hollywood Moms...the telling off of the kids out of love. I have seen the movie at least 100 times and it still makes me cry. I always think of the scene after Shelby's funeral and how much M'Lynn flips out. The anger and the passion...it sticks with me. Now that is a mom!

Ok...so we have established that all of the above mom's are pretty damn awesome. All of them are willing to go the extra mile for their kids. But there is one mom who takes that one step further and that is why she is the #1 Mom in Pop Culture...

# 1 -Diane Freeling from Poltergeist: It is one thing to go the looney bin for your kid...it is another thing all together to go to the beyond the boundaries of this world and that is what Diane did. Her is a mom who flat out refused to let her kids go and went into an unknown realm to get her kids back. Now that is love.

Honorable Mention - Annie Collins-Nielsen in What Dreams May Come: Annie missed the list because the movie suuuuuuccckkkked! That being said...I get Annie. I understand her breakdown at the loss of her kids. Too bad was so terrible that the her portrayal of the grieving mother is completely lost.

So all you readers...Happy Mothers Day. If you haven't called your mom yet...shame on you! Turn off your computer and pick up the phone.

Change Will Come

I'm just too pissed off to blog. Look for me on Facebook if you want to bitch with me.

I will say this...something's got to give.

So to make up for my absence...check out a few pictures from the concert and the Yankee game. Both of which were fucking awesome!

Millie and Mack Dino...friendship is as strong as ever!

Fall Out Boy!

Random kids that asked to take their picture with me. Lets call it what it is...its Millie's Cougar moment... :)

The Dad of one of the kids pictured above. Don't know his name either...

Tex's foul ball that I fought to get!

Does anyone else wonder why I have so many pictures with strangers?

Dino and Millie on the Subway after the Yankee game....probably the most expensive Subway ride ever...

I'm A Stray Dog Sick...Please Let Me In

I thought it would never come but it is finally here...no not a Yankee win...I'm talking about the Fall Out Boy Concert! T-minus 24 hours and I cannot wait!

It is going to be awesome...I can feel it.

So in honor of the big night...here is the list of my Top Ten Fall Out Boy songs...and the hope that I get to see them performed live tomorrow night.

In no particular order...

Dance Dance - Here is the song that started it all. I, like most people found this song to be quite annoying when it first came out but only because it was always on the damn radio. Now that I am a loyal FOB fan I can fully appreciate that this song is freaking awesome! Patrick doesn't really showcase his completely amazing vocal abilities in this one but that's okay. It is a great tune. Best Line: "I'm two quarters and a heart down and I don't want to forget how your voice sounds."

A Little Less Sixteen Candles A Little More Touch Me - For some reason this is one of my favorite songs by the band to sing. I love the lyrics but I have to admit that I absolutely LOVE the title. It is a fine example of the fact that Fall Out Boy has the best titled songs around. It is a fun song about the guy who screwed up and know that he is never going to live it down. I think that I could forgive anyone who was singing this song. Best Line: "I don't blame you for being you but you can't blame me for hating it!"

I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way That I'm Always Trying To Get You Off - How awesome is this title? To answer my own question...pretty damn awesome! I will always love this song. It is great to listen to, great to sing, and it always provokes thoughts that are pleasant to think about it. Funny how the mind can link people to songs even though there is no good reason for it. It also reminds me that if you can't have everything...be grateful for whatever you can get. Best Line: "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize that two out of three ain't bad."

America's Suitehearts - Let me just say that this video freaks me out. That being said...I love the song. It is just an awesome song to sing. I sing the shit out of daily in the car. So you can bet that I'm looking forward to singing the shit out of it tomorrow night with Mack Dino. Best Line: "I must confess...I'm in love with my own sins."

I Slept With Someone From Fall Out Boy And I All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me - Let this song be a lesson to you...don't break the heart of someone who can embarrass you on the radio. It also is a good reminder that someone with a brokenhearted doesn't act rationally and shouldn't be expected to. Mostly I love this song because it is funny. Damn funny. I doubt they will play it but here's hoping! Best Line: "I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends and I am sorry my conscience called in sick again."

20 Dollar Nose Bleed - I love this song because the opening line makes me feel better about myself. It makes me happy to know that other people ask themselves these questions. I am not too optimistic that they are going to play it tomorrow but that's okay. Once again the opening line is the best line so that is awesome! Best Line: "Have you ever wanted to disappear and join a monastery...go out and preach on Manic Street?"

I Don't Care - As stated in a prior posting...this song is fucking awesome because of Patrick. He sings it so well that it still gets to me. It literally gives me the chills when he sings it. I seriously cannot wait to see what kind of effect it has on me in person. I am getting the chills just thinking about it. Oh and the first line is my favorite line which you all know gives it bonus points. Best Line: "Say my name and his in the same breath...I dare you to say they taste the same."

This Ain't A Scene, Its An Arms Race - This is pretty much a given to be played tomorrow because it is probably their biggest hit. It is another impressive display of Patrick's vocal abilities. So for that reason it is the bomb! Best Line: "All the boys who the dance floor didn't love and all the girls whose hips couldn't move fast enough...sing until your lungs give out."

Coffee's For Closers - This song is tough to write about because it is so damn awesome. I could spend an entire post on the greatness of this song. Musically it is awesome, lyrically it is almost too awesome, and vocally it is in a league of its own. I cannot say how much I love it. It is really hard to even pick the best line of the song because there are so many great ones. But for tonight I will pick one knowing that it will probably change the next time that I blog about this fantastic song. It also happens to be the opening line...yet again. Best Line: "I can't explain a thing, I want everything to change and stay the same."

Thanks For The Memories - I will go so far as to say that this is my all-time favorite song by the band. In the right mood I will find myself listening to it and singing it over and over again. It is a great little "screw you...I'm going home" song. Patrick really does sing the shit out of the song and that is just one of the many reasons that I love it. I will be super pissed off if they don't perform it tomorrow. Best Line: "Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great."

I just can't wait!!!!

Are You Ready For Some Football?

To answer my own question...No.

I realized today that I am not the football fan that I once was. As pissed off as I am at my Yankees today...I am wholeheartedly a baseball gal. That being said...I did have fun at the NFL Draft today. Here are a few of the lessons that I learned today.

- PA's are a weird bunch. Now this is more of a Coastie lesson than football but I feel obligated to mention it.

- The NFL treats the military pretty damn well. Probably the best of all of the professional sports organizations. In addition to giving us free tickets to the Draft, they also gave us awesome seats and cool gift bags. So kudos to them.

- Philly fans are complete assholes...and often insane. Anyone who doubts this did not see "Blanket Guy" today...the toothless guy who wrapped himself in an Eagles blanket after he took off his Eagles jersey because it was autographed by a cheerleader. He was completely insane. Then there was the "Philly Frat Boys" who screamed and cursed at a group of kids who couldn't have been older than 12....hence the asshole example. Bottom line...I am starting to think that Philly fans are worse than Red Sux fans...and that is saying something.

- It is harder to film a commercial than I thought. Granted it will probably never air or be seen by anyone other than Internet junkies...but that is not the point. I will never give anyone a hard time for using cue cards because I now know how useful they are.

- It is not good for the confidence level to stand next to an NFL Cheerleader...much less 3 of them.

- The ESPN commentary crew is much friendlier than the NFL Channel crew.

- The NFL draft has its exciting moments...but they are kind of few and far between. You have to be a hardcore fan to stick it out. I am not.

Nevertheless...I am glad that I went and had a good time while I was there.

Now if you will excuse me...it is time for me to curse the Red Sux. I hate them so very, very, very much. Damn it.

If You SoBelieve...

Today is all about revenge folks!

If we were talking about any two other teams...one might say that it is unnatural for me to feel as much hatred today as I do. But then when you remember that I am Yankee fan who stayed up until almost midnight to watch my team lose to Red Sux...it all makes sense.

But I still believe. The series is far from over.

If any of you football fans are watching the draft tomorrow....check the audience for me! Sure it is day two of the draft but I am still super excited to be there.

Fuck the Red Sux!

Something For Everyone

So we all know that the Yankees is cavalcade of baseball greatness...but most of us also know they are a showcase of the most attractive men on the planet. There is something for everyone...regardless of what you are looking for. Don't believe me....read on my friend.

Let's start with A-Rod. There is no getting around it. Alex is damn sexy. He has the body of God and no matter how much I hate the asshole...he is nice to look at. He satisfies the female desire for a bad boy. Sure being with him will probably leave you brokenhearted, humiliated and bitter for life but the ride up until that point would probably be worth it. My hatred for the man prevents me from ever wanting to explore that theory but I understand why a girl would.

Let's move to Andy Pettitte. Andy is decent looking...but nothing to write home about. And yet he has quite the sex appeal nonetheless. Why? He has the whole Tall, Dark & Mysterious thing going for him. He has those dark intense eyes that lure you in and when you add that to the accent...you get the foreign feeling that I simply can't resist. I love it.

Next we have Mark Texiera. Mark is clearly a good ole' boy that you would love to take home to momma...until you realize that he is such a good ole' boy that momma will want him for her own. He isn't super hot but he isn't bad on the eyes. He is simply a nice guy and sometimes you just want a nice guy. He runs the risk of being too nice and falling into the "friend zone" until he turns around and shows off his best feature. What can I say? The man looks great as he is walking away.

Now we have Joba. Joba brings out the Cougar in all of us. He isn't drop dead sexy but that's okay. He has a mischievous smile and a light in his eyes. All I'm saying is that I strongly believe that there is a lot of fun that could be had with Joba. For that reason alone he is on the list.

Johnny...oh Johnny! Johnny is good looking but there's more to it than that. Johnny has so much charm and charisma that I can't help but being drawn to him. He doesn't take himself to seriously and clearly embraces challenges and new things. I think that things with Johnny would be quite exciting. Then there is the whole redemption thing. The man has lived in hell and come back and is better for it. Every girl loves a redeemed man and Johnny is pillar of redemption. Love me some Johnny Damon.

Next we have the Swish. It is hard for me to believe that I never noticed Nick Swisher before but the man has my attention now! My oh my...what's not to love? In addition to his talent on the field he is a great guy off the field. He supports a ton of charities, loves the military, and loves his fans. Overall he loves his life. He always seems happy and positive and I really could use some of that. He strikes me as the type of man that would be impossible to be down around. He seems to bring up everyone around him. Who wouldn't love that? Seriously...I am crushing on the Swish.

But if you want the whole package...you need look no further than Mr. Clutch...the face of the Yankees...#2 on the field but #1 in our hearts....Derek Jeter! Derek is the real deal...the whole package...the alpha of all men. If you read the blog...you know this which means that there is no reason for me to elaborate. If you don't read the blog (WTF are you doing here than?) just look at the picture and tell me that you would give all for Derek Jeter?

There you have it.

One might ask why I would write this considering that most of my readers are men and are wanting to throw up by now....assuming you are still reading in the first place. Simply because I still cannot cheer myself up and desperate measures. If I can't feel happy than I might as well be looking at good looking men.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

If you can't laugh on your own...find something else that will make you laugh. The inner geek in me is going to shine bright here as I reflect on a few of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies. It is a movie that always makes me laugh, it always makes me cry, and truthfully I can never watch it enough.

So here is my absolute favorite scene from the movie. I share this with you because I have decided that if life can't make me laugh...I will do it on my own.

Take that karma.