I Know That I've Got Issues But You're Pretty Messed Up Too

Welcome to a special Tuesday Night Edition of iPod Shuffle. Let's begin shall we?

Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill - Lame as it sounds this song still gets me moving whenever I hear it even though its like 15 years old. Has there ever been a more clever and unexpected use of the bagpipes in a mainstream song? You know that your song is the shit when it is featured in a Superbowl ad as it was this year. So yeah I would say that it has withstood the test of time. As I found out last week it is still played at during warm-ups as high school basketball games which surely says something...though I am not entirely sure what. But most significantly, this song will forever have a place in pop culture history for its use in the Simpson's episode in which they are accompanied by a symphony orchestra. Best Line: "I think I'm going crazy....".

Let's Twist Again by Chubby Checker - While there is a part of me that loves this song...let's start with the reason that I hate it. It is clearly a exploitation of the original and it never should have happened. Sequels are good when it comes to novels and to movies (sometimes) but not in music. You don't see Bon Jovi putting out trash like "Still Livin' On A Prayer" or Metallica putting out "Enter Sandman 2.0" because songs should never be continued. That being said...it is hard not to dance to this song so all is forgiven. Especially when one reminisces about a certain 9 year old friend twisting away at the elementary school talent show...so much that he twisted away with the 1st place in dance trophy. I can't laugh too much...as my 1st place for girls song trophy was equally embarrassing. Good times. Best Line: "Do you remember when things were really hopping?"

1, 2, 3, 4, by Plain White Ts - And here is yet another example of the fact that I am complete sucker for sappy love songs. I'm going to catch a lot of shit for admitting this but when I first listened to this whole song it was during a commercial on ABC Family and it made me cry. I think it is because it is such a simply sweet song of love. The lyrics actually seem to be a tad bit on the juvenile side except for that when coupled with the simply sweet melody of the song it makes for the perfect love song. So yeah...I fully recognize that it is a lame song and still love it. It is a new guilty pleasure of mine. Best Line: "And I'm so glad I found you...I love being around you".

Te Abrazare by Erre XI - Gotta love free downloads on Tuesday...as it introduces me to songs that I would never find on my own...this song being one of them. I am pretty sure that I understand this song but even if I don't it doesn't matter because it is awesome anyway. It sounds good and the beat is good enough to make me dance when I hear it. Best Line (I think): "Hay no te vallas, amor tu sabes bien que, si te quedas conmigo, baby esta noche".

What It Takes by Aerosmith - This might be my favorite Aerosmith song...pretty sure that it is. I think that it is because it is one of those songs that I can really get into. It makes me sing along, bob the head, and you know the rest. Most importantly it is a song that I can identify with...as I am sure is the case for most people. We've all had that one person that we can't let go and this song makes us feel less shitty about it. But to take one step further...this is a song that if it ever gets dedicated to you makes you feel like a complete ass...NOW THAT IS POWER. But I digress....it is enough to say that it is a great tune. Best Line: "Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch, tell me that my lovin didn't mean that much, tell me that you ain't dying when you're cryin for me."

My Life Would Suck Without You By Kelly Clarkson - I didn't want to like this song...I really didn't but here I am...absolutely loving it. I can't help it. I think that I like it because it throws away all sense of class and is brutally honest. There is not glamour to it all. The title says it all...my life would suck without you. Sure it would be easy to dress that line up into something romantic but the message would be the same so what's the point? The honesty in the line is what makes it great and better than the romantic bullshit. Not to say that I don't love the romantic bullshit every now and then but sometimes one just wants the truth...however jaded or unrefined it might be. Kudos to Kelly for rocking this song. I think that it is fabulous from start to finish. Best Line: "Being with you is so dysfunctional, I really shouldn't miss you but I can't let you go".

Happy Birthday Dear Jon..Happy Birthday To You!

For those of you non-Jon Bon Jovi fans...allow me to inform you that it is his 47th birthday. Isn't that amazing? The man doesn't look a day over 30. There are some who might say that the man must have sold his soul to be so talented, so successful and so sexy after all of these years. As I sit here on my couch...watching the second wave of snow start to fall...I say to you that I don't care as I am grateful for Jon and all of his greatness regardless of the source. So in honor of his birthday, we are going to postpone the Monday iPod Shuffle and focus on Bon Jovi and his musical greatness.

What better way to do this than to pick and discuss my favorite songs off of each of his albums?

Album: Runaway released in 1982...Best Song "Runaway" - This is a no brainer since this is the song that started it all. There isn't a Bon Jovi fan alive whose heart doesn't start beating faster as soon as you hear the opening chords. There is little wonder as to why Bon Jovi is so successful whenever I listen to this song. It set the standard for all future Bon Jovi songs by being totally rocking as well as providing realistic lyrics. What teenage girl didn't have her own Runaway moment? Best Line: "She don't really mind...it's only love she hoped to find."

Album: 7800 Fahrenheit released in 1985...Best Song "In and Out of Love" - This is the opening track on Bon Jovi's sophomoric album. In all honesty, the album is pretty weak...the worst that the band ever put out. That being said...it's still better than a lot of the shit that was put out during the same time frame. In and Out of Love is your typical rocking Bon Jovi tune. What I like about this song is its honest lyrics. The song is about a powerful and dangerous roller coaster kind of love. Up and down, good and bad, and completely irresistible...both the song and the love it sings about. Best Line: " When we're together, in and out of love, its too much forever."

Album: Slippery When Wet released in 1986...Best Song "Livin' On A Prayer" - First let me say that picking this song is a no brainer and yet I feel guilty for neglecting some of the other awesome tunes on this album. Even if I wasn't such a major Bon Jovi fan I would say that this is one of the greatest albums of all time. Is it any wonder that it produced the greatest song EVER? So I apologize to You Give Love A Bad Name, Wanted Dead or Alive, Never Say Goodbye, and I'd Die For You (which is my second choice for best song off of this album) but without a doubt Livin' On A Prayer is the winner. It is a song that rocks, a song the inspires, a song that makes everyone want to sing along. It is a song that cannot be described in words as its greatest can only truly appreciated when you listening to it. Best Line: "We've got hold on to what we've got, it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not, we've got each other and that's a lot for love." This might be the greatest line in music history.

Album: New Jersey released in 1988...Best Song "Born To Be My Baby" - This is another album that provides so many great songs that it is hard to pick one. I had to give it some thought and I know that I made the right decision. I based this on the fact that as soon as I hear Jon shout "2,3,4" my heart starts beating faster. It is the type of song that makes you reach to turn up the volume every time you hear it. It is a song that has such amazing lyrics that you cannot help but sing along. It is also the song that I learned the hard way not to use as a ring tone on my cell phone. It is also one of my favorite Bon Jovi songs to sing at the karaoke bar. Hell, it is one my favorite songs period. Best Line: "We've got something to believe in even if we don't know where we stand."

Album: Keep The Faith released in 1992...Best Song "In These Arms" - So this song is one of my all time favorite rock power ballads. It is one of those amazing songs that makes a girls heart melt as her head rocks. Out of all of the Bon Jovi songs, this song is probably my favorite vocally. Jon really out does himself in this one. I will never forget the time I first heard this song in concert...it gave me chills. The song oozes with emotion and overall just completely kicks ass. Even the incredibly cheesy lines kick ass because Jon sings them so well. It is no wonder that Bon Jovi fans welcomed the band back with such open arms after their hiatus with a song like this. Best Line: "I would do anything, I'd beg...I'd steal...I'd die...to have you in these arms tonight."

Album: Crossroads released in 1994...Best Song "Always" - While this is a greatest hits album, there is one new song that is worth being named the best song of the album in its own right. Always came out and it cemented the fact that Bon Jovi had evolved and yet still embraced its roots. This power ballad won the hearts of veteran fans and helped the band gain a ton of new one. It is one of the greatest songs that begs for forgiveness and it would be hard to say no to. I would forgive Jon for any offense if he sang this song to me. Best Line: "It's been raining since you left me now I'm drowning in the flood, you see I've always been a fighter but without you I give up."

Album: These Days released in 1995...Best Song "This Ain't A Love Song" - This song is the only reason that this album is any good. While the previous section was about a great rock power ballad...this is about one of the greatest ballad EVER. Jon described this song as the ultimate love song and I couldn't agree more. If you really listen to the song you know that more romantic and passionate words have never been sung so well before. Best Line: "If the love that I got for you is gone, if the river I cried ain't that long, then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song."

Album: Crush released in 2000...Best Song "Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen from Mars" - Most people are going to disagree with me on my pick since this is the album that has Its My Life which is one of most rocking Bon Jovi songs and it also has Thank You For Loving Me which is the best love song by Bon Jovi but that's okay. The reason that I love Captain Crash so much because it "feels like home to me". I mean that in the sense because the people that the song is about seem wonderfully wacky and I'd like to think of myself as the same. There is something to be said about finding someone who loves your wacky ways and and allows you to completely be yourself around them. No pretenses, no worries, just two people who love it each other for who the other is and how the other makes them feel. This song is a celebration of this and that is why it is my pick for the best song on the album. Best Line: "They're drunk on love as you can get, getting high on lust and cigarettes, living life with no regrets...at least they're gonna try to fly."

Album: Bounce released in 2002...Best Song "Misunderstood" - I think that I like this song simply because we've all there. We've sat back after the fact and realized that if only we had said things differently, there would be a different outcome. When you realize that you have been misunderstood and we not given the chance to explain. It sucks especially when you play back the conversation and think of all of the different ways that you could have responded or importantly when you realize that you can't take back something that you said. This song is all out those moments and it is a comfort to know that Jon has been there and so I am in good company. Best Line: "I should have shut my mouth, things headed south as the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb, if this old heart could talk, it'd say you're the one...I'm wasting time when I think about it."

Album: 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can't Be Wrong released in 2004...Best Song "The Radio Saved My Life Tonight" - I think that you have to be a music obsessed freak like me to really appreciate this song. It is the perfect song to describe the effect that music can have on me. The song talks about being in a low mood and how the right song can totally change your mood. The right song at the right can make the world feel right again. I have often said that Jon's belief if the magic of music is one of the things that makes him so special to me because I too have that belief. Some people laugh at me for it but the truth is that I feel bad for those people who don't. This song is all about the magic of music and that is why it is one of the best songs by the band. Best Line: "Radio saved my life tonight, an old song that that DJ played made me feel alright".

Album: Have A Nice released in 2005...Best Song "Dirty Little Secret" - Most American fans don't know this song since it was only released overseas. WTF Bon Jovi? Regardless, it is my favorite track off of this album because it is a very sexy song. It is a simple as that. Best Line "We made a promise and we'll keep it our dirty little secret."

Album: Lost Highway released in 2007...Best Song "(You Want To) Make A Memory" - OK so I have written about this song several times before and I am sure that I will probably write about it again. I am also sure that I write differently each time that I write about it...but one thing remains the same...and that is that it is the sexiest song ever sung by Bon Jovi. Truthfully I am in love with this song. It is one of those songs that makes me stop whatever I am doing in order to truly listen to the lyrics. The lyrics hit home with me because it makes me feel better about my belief that love doesn't have to last forever if it is wonderful while it lasts. It reminds me to be grateful for moments in time that make up the memories. This song is almost too good to listen to...almost. Best Line: "Baby just, breathe there’s no where else tonight we should be...you wanna make a memory?"

Well folks...we have just traveled through the entire run of the Bon Jovi and covered some amazing tunes. Now after all of this can you honestly say that you are not grateful for the birth of this musical genius?

Happy Birthday Jon!

You Gotta Fight....

There's no place like home....but when you are a nomad like me it can be hard to know where exactly home is. Is the place where I get my mail? Is it the house where I grew up? Perhaps it is the town where I grew up in as I still feel comfortable there...and yet still feel the same desire to get the hell out of there shortly after arriving. Who really knows.

I have spent the past few days thinking about the journey to New Mexico and the memories are good and bad. But mostly it has made me think of fights. I am not talking about little arguments (though there were several of those) but I am talking about all out ass kicking brawls where the only real winners are those watching them. (Is it any wonder considering that I had a front row seat to two such brawls in less than a week?) For privacy purposes... I will not recall the details of those fights and instead recall a few of my favorite fights in the world of pop culture.

#5 Daniel vs Johnny in The Karate Kid:



OK so only a pop geek like me would love this fight scene but I honestly do. There is something about the way that Daniel limps his way out to the mat that really makes me want Daniel to kick Johnny's ass in spite of the fact that if it were real life and not a movie...poor Daniel wouldn't stand a chance. It is not a fight that withstands the test of time...watching it now it is blatantly obvious that it is poorly choreographed but it is great and timeless for two reasons. The first is because it gave me one of my favorite pop culture lines to use...the infamous "Sweep The Leg" line that I still use to this day (though no one has actually done it for me :( but that is not the point) and more importantly...it gave the world the "Crane Kick". Is there anyone who hasn't practiced their own crane kick since this movie came out? I just hope that no one was dumb enough to actually try it in a fight because they would have no doubt provoked quite the ass beating.

#4 Martin Blanke vs Creepy Bad Guy in Grosse Point Blank:



I really really love this scene. I don't know if John Cusack has ever been sexier than he was in this movie...and in this fight. I had never thought of John as a bas ass until this movie. The hits look real as do the results of the hits. And how pimptastic is John as he flicks the lid off of that pen before jamming it into the bad guy's throat?


#3 Paul Sheldon vs. Annie Wilkes in Misery:



This is probably the first and only time I really wanted a guy to kick the shit out of a woman. This fight scene kicks ass because it is not just a fight...it is a fight for a man's life. Adrenaline starts pumping just watching the movie. The best part is that you get your money's worth. By all standards...Annie should have been out from the start after Paul brings his typewriter down on her head. And yet that is where the fight gets good. Annie catches on fire, both parties choke the hell out of one another which ends with the best eye poking scene in movie history. Annie shots Paul who keeps fighting the good fight in spite of his two broken legs. The absolute best part is when Paul finally gets the upper hand on Annie and begins to shove the remains of her beloved Misery novel in her mouth giving one of the best lines of the entire movie: "You want it? Eat it! Eat til you choke you sick twisted Fuck!" Annie gets in one last good kick but it is not enough. Paul uses his broken leg to trip Annie who cracks her head on the typewriter. Funny how the fight starts with the typewriter and ends with it.

#2 Daniel vs Mark in Bridget Jones 1:



(OK so I know that this clip has the scenes from 1 & 2...couldn't find a Youtube clip without them both. We're only talking about the first now.) This used to be my favorite fight ever! I love the way that Colin Firth punches Hugh Grant who arrogantly stands back up and gives Firth a chance to punch him in the face again. It just gets better from there. What with "Christ not again" comment to the eager announcement to the restaurant that there is fight (even though it takes a couple of seconds for anyone to care) the scene goes for good to great. Truthfully this scene works because it highlights the fact that while we are all great fighters in our heads...that is probably not the case in reality. This is one of the least manly fights in all of movies and I love it for that. I absolutely love the way that they keep apologizing to the people who are caught in the midst of their battle. However the absolute best part is when they take a break from their battle to sing happy birthday to a stranger at the restaurant. The British are always so polite. Seriously though...this one of the funniest and best fights in a movie ever...and can only be topped by the outrageous folks at South Park.

The best fight in pop culture history is....

#1 Cartman vs Wendy in Breast Cancer Show Ever:



Ok so I have already blogged about this so there isn't too much to say about it now except that it is FUCKING AWESOME! Anyone that has ever watched South Park knows that Cartman deserves an ass beating and it is utterly fantastic that it came from Wendy. I never get tired of watching it...hence why it is on my iPod.

Sweep the leg folks...Sweep the leg.

I Do Think You Fit This Shoe

Alright folks…let’s start with a continuation of my A-Rod rant…because clearly I didn’t do enough of it last week since I’m still mad. The simple fact is that I just keep getting more and more pissed off by the situation. I don’t like his “poor me” bullshit about “the weight of the world” being on his shoulders while in Texas and that being the reason for his “mistake”. I mean…I love baseball more than practically anything else in the world but let’s call it what it is…and that is a game. His “weight of the world” comment just shows what a damn drama queen and narcissistic asshole he is. I am so looking forward to the season starting but the thought of seeing him play in the new stadium aggravates me more than I can ever say. I don’t care if he has the greatest season of all times this year…I will still think that he is asshole. And don’t even get me starting on the whole A-Rod/Roberts controversy…because it is so damn ludicrous that it isn’t worth any more than this one line. Phil Moyer asked the perfect question regarding A-Rod and that is “What does he have to play for now?” His numbers are tainted, he has brought shame to himself, the sport, and more importantly to the Yankees who have to stand behind him even though he doesn’t deserve it. Again I say to you… he is a tool.

Moving on…God help me for asking this again…but What’s Worse Than Having Gum On Your Shoes?

So today is a duty day for me and I really should be getting stuff off of my desk for my upcoming leave but I’m just not feeling it. I think that I have done so much in the past couple of weeks that I am suffering from a moderate case of “burnt out” syndrome. I say moderate because I really don’t want to do anything but there is hope that I will get stuff done anyway. My blogging is just a temporary break from the stack of stuff that will be done before I leave tomorrow afternoon.

And you know what today is….so let’s shuffle.

Rock is Dead by Marilyn Manson – I usually get really weird looks when M. M. comes on my iPod, I guess because I don’t fit the stereotype for what a M. M. listener should look like. Whatever. This is actually one of my favorite songs by the King of Goth. Say what you will about him but this is actually pretty awesome song. It has a fantastic, foot-tapping, head rocking beat and lyrically it is pretty impressive. I mean, sure it is a pretty pessimistic view of society but it really isn’t that wrong. But truthfully, most days I listen to it for the beat because it is that good. Best Line: “Build us a new God and sell us his address.”

Love Is A Battlefield by Pat Benatar – Here is yet another song that should be banned from every karaoke bar on the planet. It has been terribly abused. It is understandable, as it is a pretty damn awesome song but no song is worth seeing many a drunk Pat-wannabe stumble her way through this song…air fist pumping and all. Oddly enough…this is another song that makes me laugh every time I hear it…thanks to South Park. How can you hear this and not picture the drunk Mr. Mackey stumbling his way to his house…adding his trademark “Ummm-kay?” after every line? I love that episode. So I guess what I am saying is that it would be okay for someone to sing this song at a karaoke bar only if they channel Mr. Mackey. Best Line: “We are young…ummm-kay?! Hearted to hearted we stand…ummm-kay?!”

Take My Hand by Simple Plan – I love Simple Plan and this is probably my favorite song by the band. It is impossible not to rock out when you hear this song. It is a tough song to sing along to for some reason…which means that I will only attempt it alone in my car. I will however start tapping anything close whenever I am listening to this song…my pen on the desk, my foot to ground, my fingers on the keyboard…you get the idea. It is a pretty hot song too which makes it even more awesome. It channels the whole “Bet on me like I bet on you, this is our chance, Mad Love” feeling which makes it pretty much irresistible. Best Line: “Take my hand tonight and let’s not think about tomorrow.”

Breakfast by Newsboys – And here is yet another example of why I am probably going to hell. For those of you who don’t know that this song is a Christian Pop song…don’t feel bad. I didn’t either another I heard someone singing it and I thought it was a joke. The worst part is that upon finding out that it was not a joke, I remember laughing even harder…thus yet another reason why I will probably be spending the afterlife surrounded by flames. Even though I never listened to this song with Dino it reminds me of many of the conversations about God and religion that we shared when he told me that he is pretty sure that God has a sense of humor. I am betting on it…as I am pretty sure that he probably laughed when he heard this song too. This song is on the iPod for comedic reasons only. I use the next line loosely…Best Line: “When the toast is burned and all the milk has turned and Captain Crunch is waving farewell, when the big one finds you let this song remind you that they don’t serve breakfast in hell.” Seriously…?

About A Girl by Nirvana – First allow me to congratulate myself on absolutely nailing this song on Guitar Hero World Tour. And by nailed I mean that I didn’t miss a note. So on the off chance that you are reading this Joba Chamberlain….consider yourself challenged. Moving on…so could Nirvana have selected a better song to kick off their Unplugged Album with? I think not. I cannot imagine listening to it without hearing this song as the intro. It sets the bar high and gets you going so you can overlook the crappy songs that they put on there like “Jesus Don’t Want Me For Sunbeam”. Best Line: “I’ll take advantage while you hang me out to dry.”

Well that’s it folks…as I still have a ton of LES(s) to review and a stack of papers to shred that is close to my waist in height. Gotta love the life of a Yeoman…oh wait…I don’t.

You're The Center of Adrenaline...

Holy Smokes...today sucked. It wasn't exceptionally tough...nor was it exceptionally busy. I even somehow managed to put a small dent in the pile of work that has taken over my cubicle over the past week. That alone should have allowed me to walk out of the office with a feeling of victory. Yet I walked out slowly, defeated and annoyed. I need cheering up.

So let's shuffle...

Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order - I LOVE this song. It is another one of those songs that I forget how much I love until I hear the intro and before I know it...the volume is up and I am grooving along to one of the best dance floor tunes. Many a DJ has spun this song and many a couple have found themselves overcome with passion that comes from dancing to this song. Worthy of space on any iPod. Oh and it has a fantastic opening line which gives it bonus points in my eyes. There really isn't anything else to say about this song. Best Line: "Every time I think of you, I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue."

Life in Mono by Mono - This song came out like 10 years ago and I still can't decide if it is incredibly romantic or incredibly depressing. I suppose that is what makes it so good. I remember that Robin hated it from the first time that he heard it because he said that the soft, almost seductive voice of Emma Bunton freaked him out. Truthfully, this song always makes me think of the Ethan Hawke, shouting in the rain at Gwyneth Paltrow in the 1998 version of Great Expectations. At least he was shouting at her to this song in the movie trailer. Perhaps that is why I am torn about this song. It was incredibly romantic and incredibly sad to see him standing in the rain at her balcony, shouting " Everything I do, I do it for you! Anything that might be special in me, is you!" And yet anything and everything was not enough. Poor Ethan...left alone....probably ended up catching nothing more than a cold. But I digress...Best Line: "I can't seem to recall when you came along."

If You Leave Me No by Chicago - Before you make fun of me for having this song on my iPod...hear me out. Let me start by saying that of all of the shitty songs performed by Chicago, I admit that this one is particularly bad. I have this song on my iPod for one reason...and it is because it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh because it reminds of Butters South Park episode when he is trying to find his way back to South Park after his mom tried to drown him in the car. So I hear this song and I think of poor little Butters singing "Woo-ohhh-wooo baby please don't go." So yeah...it was worth the $0.99 just to laugh. So let's use that line as the best line because there really isn't much to choose from.

The Best Thing by Savage Garden - What ever happened to Savage Garden? I loved Savage Garden...and not just because of their name tribute to one of the greatest stories of all times. I loved their slow sappy stuff...and especially loved their peppy sappy stuff. This is one of their best peppy sappy songs. It is impossible not to dance to it. I miss Savage Garden. Best Line: "This intoxication thrills me...I only pray it doesn't kill me."

I HATE A-ROD Version...umm...Oh I've lost count!

For all of the shit that I have talked about A-Rod in the past...there was always one thing that I firmly believed and adamantly denied on his behalf...and that was the fact that he had never used steroids. Don't I feel like an ass now? Fucking A-Rod.

Now I am pretty sure that I saw something about this scandal on the news last night at dinner...I didn't think anything of it because my attention was not on baseball. So truthfully the anger didn't hit me unitl today when I finally looked at it the story. Fucking A-Rod. I guess this whole thing gives the nickname A-Fraud a whole new meaning.

It is no coincidence that he popped positive the same year that he was the named the American League MVP. Given the chance I was go into his house and steal that award because he doesn't deserve it.

I don't care that it was years ago.

I don't care that he did it at a time when "everyone else was doing it".

I don't care that it wasn't illegal then. (All the more reason for him to be a man and own up to it!)

I don't care that there is no evidence that he has done anything since then.

The simple fact is that he has hid this "minor" fact from fans for years while dozens of his fellow players fell from grace during the steroid scandal. He sat by smugly while others fell and never man-ed up and said "Hey...I've been there. I made a mistake too." Hell if he would have done that...I totally would have stood by him. My love for Giambi and Pettitte was as strong as ever in spite of their use of the juice.

But no...A-Rod never opened his mouth. More significantly...he is still keeping his damn mouth shut. What a coward.

Yes I am pissed...because I always swore that he was clean. So help me...I will never say anything nice about the fraud ever again. I don't care if he is a Yankee...he is a fucking tool....and I hate him.

In spite of the drama surrounding the Yankees...it is not all bad news. So let's end on a good note...and that is that Joba was throwing off the mound in Florida....and throwing well. Take that all you "Joba belongs in the bullpen" people. "He'll be the love in your eyes" indeed. (Cheers to the 1st person to explain that line."

Can You Blame Him??

"You know, identical twins are never really identical. There is always one that is prettier, and the other one does all the work. "

Hell hath no fury like a scorned lover...and there isn't a fan in Yankee Universe who know just how scorned Joe Torre felt. OK so it is old news but I have to throw my two cents in for the few people who haven't joined me in wonderful world of Facebook (which once again...I am on several times a time). I don't really care about most of the bullshit that Joe spun in his latest betrayal of the Yanks...but I can't help but talk about the "Single White Female" like obsession that A-Rod supposedly had for Derek Jeter. True or not...this is not the question. In fact there is only one question and that is....

Can you blame him?

A-Rod and Derek started their careers at practically the same time...playing the same position, both young, handsome and the world of baseball was theirs for the taking. Everyone compared the two rising stars...hell I seem to remember that they were both featured in People Magazine's 50 Most Eligible Bachelor issue in 2000. And they were best friends.

In spite of all of the similarities...A-Rod could have and should have been the clear winner. He had the obvious advantage. A-Rod was the rising star on a team that would have sold their soul to sell his merchandise....while Derek was a merely a single sparkle in the greatest collection of diamonds in sports. The Yankee teams prior to this decade had made themselves known for having a collection of high caliber players...but no single star. The cards had been dealt and A-Rod had the winning hand.

And yet he lost. He has since become one of the most hated players in sports..hated by even his own fans...and no matter how many records he breaks, no matter how much money he makes, no matter who he dates...he will never rise above the star that is Derek Jeter. EVERYONE loves Derek. Do a google search of A-Rod and you will get more Anti-A-Rod sites than you will sites for him. More importantly...you do a google search of Derek Jeter and the negative thing you will find about him is that he is a gay with A-Rod...which is still a stab at A-Rod more than Derek.

Derek might not have the sheer talent, killer smile, outrageous bank account or sexy accent that A-Rod has but he is most beloved man in baseball. And that must baffle the shit out of poor Alex.

But the truth is that as much as he wanted to...Alex couldn't Derek for his success...he became consumed by the need to understand it. In his quest to understand how he held all of the winning cards and still lost...Alex became consumed with the man who beat him. It isn't a gay thing...or a scary thing...it is a sad thing.

When you think of it like that...I ask you again...can you blame him?

I am loyal fan to Derek...and always will be. I am forever disappointed in A-Rod the Yankee. And yet I find myself pitying A-Rod the man. His evil ex-wife should have never steered him towards New York. Alex never would have become the legend that Derek is regardless of where he was at...but going to New York sealed his fate and forever cast him as the bastard child in the Yankee family. Since day one he has been surrounded by people who will forever think of him a impostor...a pretender and challenger to throne of their beloved Jeter.

Of course the man would lash out by being a boisterous asshole. Of course he would call attention to his records. He was (and still is) a desperate man who was grabbing at the only straws within his reach...and all his grabbing just made his house fall even faster.

Think of this and ask yourself...can you blame him?

And now I say to you...look at Derek...

See him in his glory and ask yourself...could you blame anyone for becoming so obsessed with him? Hell...I would take him and keep him as my own if I could. I suspect that for me an obsession with Derek would be far less painful me than it is for Alex...so offer him the chance to change places with me....

So if you're reading this A-Rod...look me up on Facebook.