Saturday, November 1, 2008

The Devil In Disguise

Well folks...I hope you all survived the Halloween festivities. In honor of holiday...here is my take on Entertainment Weekly's List of the Top 15 Actors to be play The Devil.

#15 Dave Grohl from Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny: OK so my opinion might be slightly jaded being that I don't like Tenacious D or the Dave Grohl. So that being said...I don't remember this one at all. I think that I saw the movie but can't remember it being great. So thumbs down on this one.

#14 Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled: Awesomely bad movie and an excellent devil. No one on the planet would be able to resist Elizabeth Hurley...no one. I know that she is a model and all...but you gotta admit...she is pretty damn funny actress. Definitely one of the better devils.

#13 Trey Parker on South Park: OK so he is not your typical Satan but he is completely awesome! I think the reason that it is a distinctive portray of the Prince of Darkness because you cannot help but sympathize with him. Name one other instances where you actually feel bad for the root of all evil?

#12 Ray Wise in The Reaper: OK now Ray scares the shit out of me. The reason why is because if the devil was ever going to fuck with me...he would be smart to it in this form (or one similar to it). You know what I am talking about...a good looking, funny, charming older man with a killer smile. It would be tough to resist and hence my soul ending up in the depths of hell.

#11 H Jon Benjamin in Lucy, Daughter of the Devil. Never heard of the show so I have no idea.

#10 Jennifer Love Hewitt in Shortcut to Happiness. Never seen it but as far as portraying the devil...it is a good pick. Not saying that Jennifer is evil. I am saying that because just like Elizabeth Hurley...how you could resist giving into temptation with a Devil like that?


#9 Al Pacino in The Devil's Advocate: OK so this is my favorite of all of the devils. Why? Because he is a PIMP! Quite honestly...he rocked being the devil and lived the way that Satan should. I mean...if you are going to be bad...why not have fun while doing it? He certainly seemed to thriving in his evilness which made me wonder "Would it really be that bad being damned if you got to tag along with this guy?"

#8 Robert De Niro in Angel Heart: Never seen and never will due to my protest of all things containing Mickey Rourke. EW says that Bobby nailed the role...which is good for him.

#7 Vincent Price in The Story of Mankind: Never seen it. But just seeing the picture has revitalized my commitment to work my way through the entire Vincent Price collection. What a creepy looking SOB.

#6 John Glover in Brimstone: Never seen it but I am quite certain that I would have loved it. John Glover is DA BOMB so it is bound to be entertaining. Remember how convincing he was when he was evil Lionel Luthor?

#5 Viggo Mortensen in The Prophesy: As if the Lord of the Rings Trilogy didn't give the world enough...it also gave me the motivation to watch every movie ever made with Viggo...hence the reason that I have seen this movie. Let me just come right out and say it...I would stand no chance of resistance against Viggo as the devil. An eternity in hell would be worth it for Viggo. He is just too damn sexy to say no to. Viggo is amazing actor...and he was amazing in this role as well in spite of not being scary. He is too damn sexy to be feared.

#4 Jack Nicholson in The Witches of Eastwick. Another awesomely scary devil. He has the charming older man thing going on too which makes him a little bit scary too.

#3 Peter Stormare from Constantine: Give me a break. I can't be the only person who thought that this is one of the worst movies ever. It has to be one of the greatest mistakes in Keanu's career...and anyone who has seen The Lakehouse knows that that's saying something. As far as Peter goes...I hated the movie so much that I cannot help but dislike his performance.

#12 Gabriel Byrne in End of Days: Dreadful movie but decent performance. Something about his eyes just creeps the hell out of him. He just looks kind of evil.

#1 Alan Cumming in God, The Devil, and Bob: Never seen it but Alan is usually pretty damn funny so it is probably fairly good.

The only few that I can think that were left are:

Harvey Keitel in Little Nicky: Once again...terrible movie but good casting. Harvey has to be related to Satan.

Rosalinda Celentano in The Passion of the Christ: She scared the shit out of me. I swear I thought I saw her creepy face in window reflections for at least a month after watching this movie.

And of course...Ned Flanders on The Simpsons: He is the last person that anyone would expect to be the devil...and probably the first one what we should...based on the theory of "Thou protest too much".

6 comments:

patrick said...

Holy Shit! Are you admitting that you think that Jennifer Love Hewitt and Elizabeth Hurley are hot?

Thanks. Now I am going to spend the rest of the night thinking of the three of you. Seriously thanks!

Dr. Fine said...

OK I didn't think that when I read it but thanks to Patick I will be! You three together or any combination of it is too fucking hot!

The Kiskadian said...

I always thought that you and J Love would be a hot combo. This is an awesome post.

movi said...

damn! have to agree that it is a hot fantasy m.v.! of course i only fantasy about women so practically every chick i know has been with jlh in my mind.

Millie said...

This was not the direction that I wanted this post to go.

THE TODD said...

Should have seen it coming my dear.

Al Pacino is a pimp in the Devil's Advocate.