Saturday, September 22, 2007

Excuse me...

Were you saying "Boo" or "Buuurns"?

Well if you are a Yankee were saying Boo.

Which is not to say that the Yankees didn't put up one hell of a fight tonight. The Boo-ing is a result of the Yankees losing and the damn Red Sox winning. I don't really think that Joe Torre will be fired this year...though it is still too early to say. My point...I just want to see the Red Sox lose. I want to see them choke on all of the shit that they have been talking to their opponents all season long. I want to see "Red Sox Nation" draped in a black cloth of mourning while any other team (Obviously the Yankees are my first choice but I will take any team but the Red Sox) win the world series. What can I say? I get mean when the playoffs are approaching. However rather than focusing this blog on my dislike for members of the Red Sox nation I will defer to the subject of the opening line...C. Montgomery Burns.
I love Montgomery Burns. Hell I even have a cat named after him. He is my favorite cartoon character hands down. Perhaps it is the fact that he is the only "outed" Republican in Toon Town (that I know of)...but something about him makes him the #1 reason that I watch The Simpsons. So in effort to bring some cheer to this day...I will highlight some of my Monty Burns quotes. If you are Simpsons will know these well...if you are not...what the heck is wrong with you?

-"Bring it on Bitch" In the 13th episode of the 17th season...Monty Burns utters this quote...and it is the best part of the episode. After being challenged by the Texas Oil Guy...Monty looks at him and says said mentioned line. It totally rocked! Nothing more needs to be said.
- "Are you saying Boo or Buuurns?" In the 18th episode of the 6th season, Monty Burns enters his film "A Burns for All Seasons" in the Springfield Film Festival. In true Monty Burns form...he goes all out on the film, sparing no expense to try to show that he isn't evil. After viewing the film...the audience begins to boo loudly, prompting Mr. Burns to turn to Smithers and ask "Smithers are they booing me?" Kiss-ass Smithers quickly replies "No, they are saying Buuurns! Buuurns!" Mr. Burns stands up and faces the audience as he asks "Are you saying Boo or Buuurns?" The audience responds by throwing things at the frail old man and the Boo-ing gets louder, drowning out the timid voice of Hans Moleman, who says "I was saying Buuurns."
- "You know Smithers...I told you so has a's shut the hell up!" In the 17th episode of the 17th season...Mr. Burns outsources the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant to India. Pure luck allows Homer to become the only employee to keep his job and move to India to run the plant. Thanks to breakfast inspired leadership book provided by Marge...Homer convinces Mr. Burns that he can run the plant by himself. Mr. Burns leaves Homer to run things while he floats down the Ganges with corpses. (Bringing another great quote from Monty. Smithers tells Mr. Burns that the people he is floating with are dead and Monty responds "You never like my friends!") Smithers objects to the putting of Homer in charge (rightfully so), however Monty cannot be swayed. The result is that Homer convinces himself that he is God. So the Simpson family flies to India to save Homer, making their way up the river in a scene that has a very Apocalypse Now vibe. As Mr. Burns explains to the family what has happened to their dad...Smithers tells Mr. Burns "I told you it wasn't a good idea to leave Simpson in charge of the plant." The result..."You know Smithers...I told you so has a brother...its shut the hell up!" The single greatest line uttered by C. Montgomery Burns.

But it wouldn't be a Monty Burns tribute without referencing the greatest Monty Burns overall moment...and that has to be the song and dance..."See My Vest". So join me won't you in singing a classic Simpsons song...lyrics included for max participation. (Not to be confused with Max Power.)

"Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food.
The only thing I am hunting an outfit that looks good.
See my vest, see my vest made from real gorillas chest.
Feel this sweater, there's no better, than authentic Irish setter.
See this hat, twas my cat.
My evening wear...vampire bat.
These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino.
Grizzly bear underwear, turtle necks I have my share.
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest!
Try my robin comes one breast or two.
See my vest! See my vest! See my vest!
Like my loafers, former gofers.
It was that or skin my chauffeurs.
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best.
So let's prepare those dogs! (Kill two for matching clogs!)
See my vest! See my vest!
Oh please won't you see my vest!

Vote Monty Burns for President in 2008!

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