Clearly my prayers for the new year have not been answered. I just had the unpleasant misfortune of seeing the new Free Credit Report.com Commercial...which sucks even more than the previous ones.
More surprising to me than the fact that these commercials are still being made is the fact that no one has taken it upon themselves to stop the source...Eric Violette.
Someone needs to stop the madness...someone needs to punch him in the face.
In fact, he has now become the #3 on my list of people that I want to punch in the face. If luck is ever on my side...I will get to punch them all before I die.
More surprising to me than the fact that these commercials are still being made is the fact that no one has taken it upon themselves to stop the source...Eric Violette.
Someone needs to stop the madness...someone needs to punch him in the face.
In fact, he has now become the #3 on my list of people that I want to punch in the face. If luck is ever on my side...I will get to punch them all before I die.
So now that you know the #3 person...so let's go ahead list all five people that I would like to punch based on the fact that he/she has achieved a remarkably unprecedented level of being a douche.

#5: The Fake Umps from Toronto - Now I know that not everyone agrees with me on this one but that's okay. A lot of people find this guys funny which is fine. I personally think that they make up the biggest duet of douches in sports. I mean...really? It might have been funny the first time that you saw it but after awhile it is just damn stupid. I mean, the reality is that here are two grown ass men who are still playing the "copy cat game" and spending big bucks to do it. Give me those seats and go play your stupid game somewhere else. I think that I stand the best chance of getting the chance of punching one if not both of these douche bags based on our frequent visits to Yankee Stadium.

#4: Carl Pavano - I've said it before and will say it again...this douche is a liar, a thief and a terrible pitcher! I think that this douche deserves a punch in the face from every Yankee fan who feels like he ripped off the Yankees. I doubt I could do much damage to him...since he is significantly bigger than me but that is not the point. I want my chance to try.

#3: Eric Violette - So on one hand I kind of feel bad for the guy. I mean, he was a struggling actor who was just trying to make a buck and so signed up to do an American commercial. Little did he know that it would become the most annoying commercial OF ALL TIMES!!! I think what really drives me crazy about this guy is the fact that his narcissistic ass thinks so highly of himself that he actually has disclaimers on his website about all of the people who are pretending to him. Right...because everyone longs to be a goofy french douche. More like everyone wants to punch you right in the nose you stupid douche. I would like to think that of all of the douches on my list that this would be the one that I would have the best chance of hurting. He is just barely a man and therefore should be easy for me to hit.

#2: Kevin Youkilis - The nice thing about this particular douche is that depending on where I punched him...I am pretty certain that I would be defended by those around me. For example, if I somehow was lucky enough to do in the streets of the Bronx, I am confident that he would be not be able to punch me back because my fellow Yankee fans would protect me. I have given this thought because Kevin Youkilis is such a douche that he would more than likely try to punch me back.

#1: Donovan McNabb - So help me Mo...this guy is king of all douches. Everything about him pisses me off and everything he says and does makes me want to punch him in the face. Again, I know that the odds of said punch having any kind of effect on him are slim to none but this does not deter me in the slightest. I would still do it and be proud of it. I would then proceed to brag to everyone that little ole Millie punched the World's Biggest Douche in the face. Fucking McNabb, I hate him so much.
